My sister and I exchanged a look. “I’m with Lulu. You’re on speaker.”
“Hi, sweetie,” Lulu said.
“Hey, Auntie. Why are you guys in North Carolina?”
“How did you know—?” And then I remembered. In high school, the kids had secretly activated location services on my phone so they’d know when I was close to home if they were at the house doing something they shouldn’t. When I found out, I didn’t bother to turn off my location. Why shouldn’t my children know where I was? I had nothing to hide. At least I never had before.
Obviously, I couldn’t tell my daughter the truth. I scoured my mind for a plausible reason to be in North Carolina. “We’re going to see the Biltmore House,” I said. Lulu shot me a questioning look.
“What?” Ayla said.
“It’s the biggest house in the United States.”
“Why are you going to see it?”
“Biltmore is a museum.” I warmed up to the lie. “I’m curious to see how they write their exhibits—the introductory panels and object labels.”
“It’s a good thing she’s getting out,” Lulu added. “Your mom could use the distraction.”
Ayla’s voice quieted. “Are you still depressed, Mom? I mean—” She paused when she realized how the question sounded. “You know what I mean, right?”
Lulu mouthed,Sorry.Irritation roiled through me. The last thing Ayla needed was to worry about me, especially since she seemed to be coping badly with Ali’s death. They’d been so close. Ali coached Ayla’s house basketball team for several years and ran countless developmental drills with her at the local gym. With Ali gone, both Ayla and Adam needed me to be strong and steady for them.
“Yes, honey. I’m fine,” I reassured her. “Obviously, still getting used to ... everything. But much better than I was. I’m OK.”
“Maybe Adam was right. We shouldn’t have left you all on your own, alone with nothing to do.”
That was the thing with kids. They assumed you had no life without them—no unique identity, no interests or aspirations—as if your life started and ended with them.
“I do have a job,” I reminded her. “I’m fine. Promise.”
I was anything but fine, but I didn’t want Ayla to worry. Even though the closer we got to Durham, the more anxious I became.
“How are you?” I asked.
“Fine.” Her tone was clipped.
“Have you thought about seeing a counselor?” I said, desperate to make sure she was OK. “I called the university, and they have people you can schedule an appointment with. It would help you to talk to someone.” She certainly wasn’t talking to me.
“OK.” Her tone cooled even more. “Bye, Mom.”
“Love you, honey,” I said.
“Bye.” As soon as Ayla hung up, I hit the settings icon on my phone.
“Biltmore House?” Lulu said.
“What else is in North Carolina?” I replied. “It’s all I could think of.”
Lulu’s eyes went to my mobile. “What are you doing?”
“Turning off my location settings. I don’t want Ayla and Adam to be able to track my every move. Especially not now.”
“How is Ayla doing?”
“I’m really worried about her. She won’t talk about Ali at all. She’s losing weight. I don’t think she’s eating well.”
“I’m sorry you have so much on your plate.” Lulu paused. “I asked Khalid about the second house. He swears he knows nothing about it.”
