‘What does?’
‘Thinking I won’t live with everyone.’
‘You’re not sure about leaving?’
‘It’s not that. It’s not all bad, you know. I don’t want you to think I’m leaving because it’s horrible. I just don’t think that life is what I want now.’
‘Having a baby on the way can make you rethink your choices,’ Zoe said. ‘What’s your gut telling you?’
Fern gave a half-smile. ‘It’s telling me I’d love a little house that’s just for me and my baby, nobody telling me it’s my turn to dig the field or muck out the pigs or cook dinner for thirty people or what to read or what time to go to bed and what time to get up. I’d love to watch telly sometimes and lie in bed on a Sunday until noon. And lots of other normal things too.’
‘Well,’ Zoe said with a smile of her own, ‘we’d better see what we can do about it, hadn’t we?’
24
Zoe found some temporary accommodation for Fern in a nice, compact shelter where they only had half a dozen other residents. It was ideal, but they didn’t have capacity to keep Fern there for more than a few days. They were also concerned about her being pregnant, until Zoe reassured them she’d be on hand should they need her, no matter what time of night or day. It was further out from Thimblebury than she’d have liked, but she and Fern could start the search together for something more permanent. With a bit of luck, when they found somewhere, it would be closer to the village, as Fern wanted.
She didn’t know when Fern would come back, if she even managed to get back that day at all. Things the young woman had said during their chat still didn’t sit right with Zoe, not least the fact that even though she’d insisted she was able to leave the commune any time she liked, she wasn’t able to go back and forth whenever she pleased. So when the end of Zoe’s working day came and Fern hadn’t shown, though she tried not to let it worry her, it did. The situation was so hard to read, and, for now, Zoe had to trust that Fern had it under control. If that wasn’t the case, she didn’t know what she’d do. She knew that if anythingbad happened, she’d never forgive herself for not acting with more certainty, but she also had to respect Fern’s wishes, which were that Zoe let her deal with the situation at the commune in her own way. Zoe had done all she could for now, but that didn’t stop her overthinking things on the way back to Hilltop.
Fern wasn’t the only worry on her mind. She was no closer to resolving the situation with Lennon either. Ottilie had been content to wait, but it wasn’t only up to Ottilie. Zoe knew only too well how cantankerous Flo could be. Then there was Billie, who had been a little more present over the previous couple of days but was still far from her usual self. She hadn’t spoken to her mum for a week either, and though she hadn’t had the time, she worried that Cherie was still sulking over the wedding.
She was working herself up to a visit to Kestrel Cottage later that evening. She would come clean to Alex and ask him to go with her for moral support. Actually, it was far more than moral support – she was beginning to rely on Alex in a way she couldn’t fully comprehend herself, let alone explain. She’d come to value his wisdom and opinions more and more as time went on, not because she herself was spineless or incapable of making sound decisions (although sometimes it felt that way) but because his presence was so calming, allowing her to clear her mind and see things with clarity. Even if she didn’t agree with his reasoning, talking things over with him always helped point her in the right direction eventually.
As she opened the door at Hilltop, she could hear voices coming from the kitchen. Recognising them immediately, she let out a groan. She wasn’t ready to confront her dad, but he was there with Chantal in the house, and she realised she was going to have to, ready or not. If she didn’t, it would seem weird for her to go over later on and bring up something that important, something she’d had ample time to mention at this point. Probably. Perhaps he’d only called for a fleeting visit,to borrow something or to tell her about something. Perhaps Chantal wanted some advice and then they’d be on their way. She felt guilty for hoping for one of those scenarios to be true, but she still hoped just the same.
Pausing at the door to the kitchen, she tried to gauge the mood within. It sounded civil enough. Then she opened the door, a smile painted on her face.
‘Hi,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t expecting you today…not that it isn’t a nice surprise. What brings you over?’
Nigel’s tone was grave, though he didn’t seem angry. ‘I need to talk to you about something.’
‘Oh…’ Zoe took off her coat and draped it over the back of a chair before sitting down. She glanced at Alex, who didn’t seem concerned, even at her dad’s words. She wondered vaguely where Billie was. Grizzle too, for that matter, because a glance at his basket revealed he wasn’t in the kitchen. ‘Sounds serious.’
‘It is,’ he said.
Zoe looked from him to Chantal, trying to guess what was coming. Had Chantal told him about their altercation, as she’d promised? If she had, it was a safe bet her dad would have heard the version Chantal and Lennon wanted him to hear. Whether that was the true version or not was a matter for debate – she was beginning to see that – but it wasn’t hard to guess how her dad would have taken the news.
‘We’ve come to ask if you and Alex would be godparents for our baby.’
Zoe heaved a sigh of relief. ‘What? Why us?’
‘Why not?’ Her dad frowned. ‘Who else would we ask? Not that you’re Hobson’s choice or anything, of course. You’re the most obvious people to ask, and the only people we’d trust.’
Zoe was tempted to point out that they barely knew Alex, but guessed that he’d been included by default, and that it wasprobably her they wanted specifically. ‘Who else? You usually have three, don’t you?’
‘It depends on if it’s a boy or a girl,’ Chantal said. ‘I’ll know when I have my scan next week. If it’s a girl, then I’ll ask my best friend from school and her wife…’
‘They come as a package deal, so they sort of count as one person,’ Nigel put in, as if Zoe needed clarification.
‘And if it’s a boy, then we’ll ask Lennon.’
‘Lennon?’ Zoe couldn’t help the disbelief in her voice. ‘Oh…that’s…well, that’s good. How is he?’ she asked in the most neutral tone she could manage but addressing the query very deliberately to Chantal.
‘Have you seen him around the village today?’ Nigel asked Zoe.
She shook her head.
‘He’s got a right old shiner from somewhere. Says he walked into the branch of a tree. Imagine.’ Nigel shook his head with a chuckle. ‘God knows how he’s done that. I thought I’d better mention it in case you saw him and thought he’d been in a fight.’
