‘Oh,’ he began uncertainly. ‘Do you need me to go out again? I could, if you need me out of the way. I’m sure Griz wouldn’t complain about another half hour.’
‘I don’t think it matters – half an hour is neither here nor there, and I don’t want to make you stay out all night.’
‘Right…well, I’ve got some work to do. I could disappear to the office and take Griz with me.’
Zoe paused and then nodded. ‘Maybe that’s a good idea. I just think…’ She lowered her voice. ‘I think she’s more likely toopen up with us girls…You know, it’s different around a man, especially when it’s your dad.’
‘Don’t worry, this is firmly women’s territory. I’m not even going to try and get involved.’
‘I didn’t mean that,’ Zoe added quickly. ‘I’m happy for you to be involved, just not at this point. That’s all right, isn’t it? I mean, if we get to the bottom of whatever might be going on and it turns out some intervention is necessary, we’re going to need your help.’
‘Yeah, yeah, of course. That’s what I meant – it just didn’t come out as well as it did when you said it.’
‘Thanks.’
She followed him up the stairs. At the top, their paths branched off as he went to his office and Zoe walked along the landing to Billie’s room. After tapping briefly on the door and getting no reply, she pushed it open a crack and peered in.
Louisa was asleep in Billie’s arms. Billie herself was asleep too, propped up on pillows with her head on one side, mouth open, as if she’d fallen asleep during the feed. Zoe tried not to tut, but it wasn’t a situation she was entirely happy about. All it would take was for Billie to fall forward and…
She tried not to think about that as she gently lifted Louisa and put her into her cot. Then she pulled the blankets over Billie’s shoulders and left them.
‘Do you think I ought to wake her to come down?’ Zoe asked as she sat down with Georgia and Emilia again. ‘She was the reason you came, after all.’
‘I’m not sure it would do much for her mood if she’s tired and you woke her to come and undergo a covert interrogation from me,’ Emilia said.
Georgia reached for her tea. ‘I’m with Em on this. It might do more harm than good to try and fathom her mood when she’s groggy. And she’s obviously knackered if she’s falling asleep while she’s feeding. We can come up again. Maybe come during the day when she’s brighter.’
‘Not sure I have the time to come in the day over the next few weeks,’ Emilia said. ‘I’m doing a couple of weekends of out-of-hours clinics and on call in the evenings because Simon needed some time off, and I’m giving a lecture in Leeds this weekend. It will either have to be this week, or it will have to wait. Unless you and Georgia can speak to her and get to the bottom of it.’
Zoe nodded thoughtfully. She’d sought Emilia’s opinion, but perhaps that was only because she kept second-guessing her own, and that, she was forced to admit, was because she was too close to Billie to be objective. But if she was being absolutely honest, she could recognise what she saw. Billie was struggling – Zoe just needed to find out what was causing it and get her to accept help.
‘Thanks,’ she told Georgia. ‘That sounds like a good idea. If you’ve got time on Saturday, we could reschedule? Perhaps we could go for a walk if the weather’s nice, get her out into some fresh air. She hasn’t even taken Louisa out of the house since we got back from the hospital. She keeps saying she doesn’t want her to get cold, but she’s got to do it sooner or later.’
‘I’ll come on Saturday,’ Georgia said. ‘In fact, I’d love to. I haven’t been on a decent walk myself in ages, and it will be good to have some company. Do you think your friend Ottilie will want to come?’
‘I’m not sure she’s up to it yet – she had quite a time with her birth, you know. She’s getting around, but going too far still takes it out of her. I’ll ask, but I think she’ll say no. I wonder’ – Zoe paused – ‘if I ought to ask Maisie to come.’
‘Who’s Maisie?’
‘Oh, she’s a young girl who’s been coming over to see Billie. She’s pregnant too, you see, and they sort of bonded. Maisie asked to come over to see Louisa, and Billie hasn’t let her yet, so I’m wondering whether it might be a good idea to invite her.’
‘I wouldn’t,’ Emilia said. ‘Unless you ask Billie first and she says it’s all right. There’s obviously a reason she’s told Maisie not to come.’
‘Oh, she likes her,’ Zoe said. ‘She likes her a lot. I don’t know why she said no to her and not to you.’
‘I suspect it’s because she sees Georgia and me as your friends, whereas Maisie is hers. She doesn’t have to be so open with us, and it’s not her job to entertain us – it’s yours. She probably doesn’t have,as you said so eloquently,the bandwidthto deal with the demands being around her own friends will place on her.’
‘I never thought of it like that. See,’ Zoe said with a grateful smile, ‘that’s why I need your input.’
‘I’m no expert,’ Emilia said. ‘It’s just how I’d be in her shoes.’
‘That’s settled then.’ Georgia drank the last of her tea and put down the cup with an emphatic nod. ‘Saturday it is!’
21
‘Anything else, my love?’
Magnus had scanned the biscuits and coffee and rung up the total on the till.
