Billie was obviously proud of the way the new recipe Corrine had given her had turned out. Alex had often aired his thoughts on what an odd pairing it had become, her and Corrine. Billie was young enough to be the granddaughter – probably great-granddaughter – of the far older occupant of nearby Daffodil Farm, and yet they’d become friends. What had surprised Zoe more than that was the way Billie had taken to other members of the Thimblebury community. While there was a clear age gap between her and Corrine, in the absence of her own mum and with her own grandparents miles away, it was obvious to Zoe that Corrine had become a sort of mother figure for Billie.
But then there was also Maisie, another young mother-to-be in Zoe’s care. On paper, she and Billie had nothing in common apart from their pregnancies. Zoe had only ever paired them up so that Billie could encourage Maisie to stand up for herself, perhaps as an example of what a confident, assertive young woman ought to be. But against all odds, they’d quickly become friends too.
‘I’m going to make this next time Maisie’s up here then,’ Billie said as Zoe made an effort to praise the tagine she’d just served up. Not because there was any effort involved in recognising how delicious it was, but because Zoe was so tired there was effort in even speaking at all.
‘When will that be?’ Alex asked.
‘Tomorrow…’ Billie paused. ‘That’s all right, isn’t it?’
‘Of course! Why would you ask? This is your home – you can invite whoever you like here.’
‘I didn’t know if it would be in your way. I just remembered you have that guy coming to see about the pipes.’
‘What pipes?’ Zoe reached for the jug of water and poured some into her glass.
‘Oh, you know, to set up the shower blocks for the camping field,’ Alex said.
‘I thought you had to finish searching for archaeology first.’
‘That’s the plan, but I didn’t think it would hurt to have someone come take a look.’ He looked at Zoe again, this time paying more attention. ‘You look shattered.’
‘I am a bit, but I’ll be fine once I’ve eaten.’
‘Are you worried about Ottilie?’ Billie picked up her fork and began to sift through the food on her plate, picking out some things and leaving others. Zoe wondered if she’d cooked it just for them and hadn’t really fancied it herself. She’d complained about her tastebuds changing as her pregnancy progressed, and Zoe had seen plenty of evidence of that.
‘Not so much. She had a tough time of it, but she’s in safe hands, and I’m confident she’ll be back on her feet in a couple of days. She’ll need to take it easy, but I’m sure Heath wouldn’t have it any other way, even if the birth had gone smoothly.’
Zoe noticed Billie’s expression, and it told her that what she’d really meant by her enquiry after Ottilie’s well-being was: will my birth be difficult too?
‘It’s lucky,’ she continued, in a bid to reassure her without actually bringing it up in front of Alex, who would then worry as well, ‘it doesn’t happen all that often. There were complicating factors with Ottilie.’
‘Like what?’ Billie asked.
‘Like she’s older, for a start. Much older than you.’
Billie nodded slowly and then seemed content. ‘I suppose so.’
‘You’ll be fine.’ Zoe offered a reassuring smile. ‘I don’t offer promises, but if I did, yours would be one I’d move heaven and earth to keep.’
‘I’m not worried,’ Billie said.
Alex raised his eyebrows. ‘It’d only be human if you were. Your mum was nervous having you. She pretended not to be for my sake, but I knew she was.’
‘And that’s OK,’ Zoe said. ‘You’ve never given birth and there are all these horror stories going about, mums who can’t wait to tell you how awful it was for them…Believe me, I’ve come across plenty of those people. But it’s usually not that awful – at least afterwards most will barely give a passing thought to what it was like. Yes, it’s tough for a few hours, but then it’s over and you’ll have the most amazing reward.’
Billie was thoughtful for a moment. ‘Do you ever wonder what it would have been like for you?’ she asked finally.
Alex threw a look of mortification her way, but Zoe signalled that it was OK, she could talk about it. People would ask, and she understood that it often came from a place of kindness.
‘All the time.’
‘Do you think you’d like to try again?’
At this, Alex’s mortification escaped him. ‘Bill…I don’t know if we’re quite there yet! I mean, Zoe hasn’t even moved in or…’
Zoe only shrugged. ‘I try not to because I don’t know what the future holds just now. I know what I would like it to hold…’ She sent a small smile Alex’s way. She had always been carefulnot to pressure him into decisions regarding their relationship. It was early days, and though he’d often shown signs of being keen to steam ahead, she was happy to be more cautious. She wanted him to be certain about it because she couldn’t be sure, despite his obvious enthusiasm, that he was. Only a couple of weeks ago, he’d gifted her a key to Hilltop Farm and told her he was ready for her to move in whenever she was. Though she’d been touched and delighted by the gesture, reflection had made her response since more measured. This was too good to mess up, and she didn’t want hasty actions to do just that.
‘But…’ she continued, ‘I think the answer is to wait and see. If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, then it was meant to be that way.’
