‘Not to look after you, but because I want to go!’
Chantal let out a light laugh. ‘Oh, I see! I’m so used to your dad thinking I can’t do anything by myself these days…’
‘Don’t worry,’ Zoe replied. ‘I’ll have a word and put him right when we come back…’
She could hear her dad’s laughter as they left the table. She hoped it wouldn’t be too difficult for him and Alex to maintain an easy conversation, but they’d done well so far, and she was proud of how much effort Alex was putting in.
Chantal linked arms with Zoe as they began to walk. The action took her by surprise, but what was even more shocking was how she didn’t mind. In fact, it felt right.
‘I know you didn’t fancy being a bridesmaid,’ Chantal began after a pause, ‘and I get it. I suppose it was a bit weird, me asking you, but you would have looked so cute in the dress I picked out.’
‘I did appreciate you asking,’ Zoe replied. ‘It was just…well, you know, it felt a bit like taking sides.’
‘Hmm. Your mum hates me, and you didn’t want to upset her. I get that too.’
‘Hate is a strong word,’ Zoe said carefully, feeling torn and guilty all over again.
‘It’s all right. I’d hate anyone who tried to take Nigel from me too. I’d fight her, probably go down for GBH.’ Zoe let outa shocked laugh, and then Chantal giggled. ‘I know I don’t look like much of a fighter.’
‘It’s not that. It’s…’ Zoe realised that what was more shocking than Chantal’s threats towards some imaginary antagonist was the obvious depth of her feelings for Nigel. It shouldn’t have been, because she was beginning to see what strength they’d both had to find to be together in the face of so much disapproval from every quarter, and yet it had still caught Zoe unawares.
She pushed open the door to the toilets, and they both headed to neighbouring cubicles.
Chantal’s voice came from the other side of the divide. ‘I know what you were thinking…when you asked how pregnant I was and why your dad didn’t know.’
‘I wasn’t thinking anything. I suppose you wanted to be sure.’
‘I know that’s not really what you think. You’re wondering why I kept it from him. The truth was…well, I thought he wouldn’t love me if I was pregnant.’
Zoe was glad Chantal couldn’t see her face. The truth was, she could see why Chantal would feel that way. It showed more awareness of the reality of her relationship with the much older Nigel than Zoe realised she was capable of. Almost everyone – and, to her shame, Zoe included – assumed that Chantal was Nigel’s mid-life crisis, a bit of fun to take his mind off his marriage break-up. At first anyway. Zoe had seen it differently as time had passed, but she was sure others hadn’t had their opinions changed in quite the same way, especially her mum. ‘I don’t think anything would make that happen from what I’ve seen. He adores you.’
‘I know, but what about when I’m massive and worn out from having a baby?’
Zoe had to let out a tiny laugh, despite herself. ‘Chantal, he’ll adore you, no matter what. Look how excited he is for the baby.’
‘I know that now, but I couldn’t be sure at first, and so I was afraid to tell him. Of course, I had to eventually. You won’t tell him I knew all along, will you?’
‘Mum’s the word, if you’ll excuse the pun. Your secret is safe with me, but I think you ought to trust his feelings more. After all, you’re getting married in a couple of weeks.’
‘Yes, I am. I’m so happy about that. I’m glad you’re coming to the wedding.’
‘It was never in doubt, was it?’
‘I don’t know, but a lot of people we invited have said no. I don’t think they approve.’
Zoe rested her elbows on her knees, thoughtful. She suspected that might be true, though she felt it uncharitable. At the end of the day, they were just a couple in love who were entitled to get married if they wanted to.
‘I was scared you might still hate me,’ Chantal said into the silence.‘I think you did at first.’
‘I didn’t hate you. I was upset that my parents had split.’
‘Everyone thinks that was my fault.’
‘I don’t think everyone does. And it wasn’t, not really. Dad was looking for a way out anyway, whether he knew it or not. I don’t mean you were just a way out,’ she added quickly. ‘I mean, he’d have left sooner or later. In a lot of ways, you saved him, because if he hadn’t got with you after he left Mum, I think he’d have been lonely.’ Zoe took a moment to reflect on her own words. She’d never viewed it that way until now.
‘Do you think so?’
‘I do. He’d have maybe gone to live somewhere on his own, played a bit of golf with some buddies from time to time. Gone to work. You know, a boring old life. But he met you instead. I’m glad he’s not on his own.’
