And then there was the sex. There was a lot of fooling around, a lot of making each other come. They became frotting experts, rubbing themselves together in any way they could. Neither of them liked that word so they called it tiger play, which amused them both. They took turns to stalk each other around the house—and pounce. Blow jobs became works of art.
Dila was never mentioned.
Newt liked everything they did. They’d not yet moved beyond tiger play, hand jobs, either slow and painfully torturous or fast and horribly messy, and ditto with blow jobs. They hadn’t talked about doing more, or attempted to do more, maybe because River couldn’t talk about it, though Newt had done a lot of thinking.
The gay porn he’d watched after he’d come out of prison always seemed to result in anal sex. And it happened fast because he guessed viewers didn’t want to wait ages for the money shot. Newt knew the men were acting. He’d read that some of the guys were straight, which shocked him. But porn wasn’t providing lessons in how to have sex. It was an exaggeration of what real sex was like.
He didn’t know whether he’d even enjoy anal sex, didn’t know whether he was a top, a bottom or vers. He suspected vers. He liked theideaof River being inside him as much as heliked theideaof being inside River, but what if…?Shit.Was River going through the same rambling thought process as him?
Newt would let River take the lead.
Though maybe River thought he was letting Newt be in charge. Which was why they were still just messing around. Messing around was fun. Newt chuckled. He figured they’d know when they were ready and it would just…happen.
Kissing River lit up Newt’s world. He adored kissing him. He loved the hugging, the touching, the smiles, the teasing. Just being with him was everything. There was no trace of the guy Newt had thought he was coming to look after. River was kind and fun and Newt only had to look at him to feel his throat block up.
But…
Amidst everything, Newt hadn’t forgotten about Dila, who could arrive at any moment. He hadn’t been brave enough to mention her to River. But how did River having a girlfriend fit into this? Newt suspected his anxiety had made her into more than she was but that could have been wishful thinking. Was there anything real about their relationship? Maybe River was bi. Dila couldn’t care much about River if she never came to see him. Newt did care. He cared too much. So he tried to pushcheatingto the back of his mind. This wasn’t going to last. He’d take what he could, while he could. Dila never needed to know.
Yet she still lingered in his thoughts, guilt biting at his stomach, that even if she didn’t care about him and River, that somehow it might mess up her life.
He began to worry that everything was goingtoowell, that something was going to happen that would wreck his happiness.
I already know what that is.
Dila would come. He shouldn’t touch River again. He shouldn’t let River touch him. He didn’t want to be that guy. He’d hate it if it happened to him. Cheating was horrible. Was it cheating if it was fake between her and River? How could it be?
Oh god, my head.
Max came that afternoon and it was clear from his expression that something was wrong. River looked worried as well. Newt made them all a drink and they sat on the couch.
“Ex…per…pl… Hmm. What’s ring…?” River tried again. “What’s ring…Hmm.”
When Max looked as though he was going to supply River with the word, Newt gave a quick shake of his head.
“Wrong,” River finally got out.
“There’s something I want to show you.” Max tapped into his phone. “It’s footage of when you fell. I had to use a few threats to persuade them to supply the unedited version. First, they claimed it didn’t exist. Then it was lost. Then it had been stolen. I’ve never heard so many fucking excuses, particularly when I know they’d likely use it in the film. But remember I told you there was something about the chalk marks?”
River nodded. Newt wondered what this was about.
“Are you going to be okay watching?” Max asked.
“Yes.”
But River’s fists were clenched. Newt got up from where he was sitting and dropped down next to him. He would have wrapped his fingers around River’s but he made do with pressing in with his thigh.
Newt’s heart pounded as he watched River climb. Helooked fucking terrified. The cliff was high. Newt would have been scared too.
“Look at the chalk marks,” Max said.
“Mal…ik told…where…”
River climbed using the marked holds. His fingers had just grasped a place that was definitely chalked when it suddenly gave way under his grasp and he fell. River gulped. So did Newt. Max stopped the footage.
“More,” River said.
“No, you’re not watching more. But you saw the chalk?”
