“TV?”
River huffed and gave up.
Newt tried hard not to behave any differently with him. They did a bit more language work that night, then watched another of his films about a time jumper—but they sat at opposite ends of the couch. Safer.
He liked hearing River quietly saying the lines along with the River on the screen. Most people with aphasia didn’t get the chance to do this. Some might have a few home movies they could talk along with but this was something special.
When the film was done, Newt stood up. “I’m going to sort the laundry then go to bed. Is there anything you need before I go up?”
“No. Thank…you.”
By the time Newt had folded the dry clothes, loaded the tumble drier, and tidied, he was tired. The lights were off in the main room and River wasn’t there when he went past carrying his clothes. He’d left River’s downstairs. No way was he walking into his bedroom after all that had happened. He put the two letters on a table in the hall to remind him to forward them to Max.
But when he opened the door to his room, River was sitting on Newt’s bed in sleep pants and a T-shirt.
Newt’s heart jolted. “Are you all right?” He put the clothes down on a chair.
River stood up. “Not be…ker…hmm…” He sucked in a breath. “Not be…co…of kizz.” He pressed the heel of his palm to his head and whined.
Newt guessed. “Not because of the kiss?”
River nodded. “Like you.” He tapped his chest. “Like you!”
“You like me? Well, you’ve not held up thatYou’re firedsign for a few days.”
River sighed and clenched his fists. “Me. Like. You.”
Newt’s heart thumped. “You’re like me? You’re gay?”
“Yes. Yes. But…be…not g…gay.
Another guess. Not a difficult one. “You have to pretend to be straight.”
River gave a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped, but he looked straight at Newt. “Yesss.”
“Because of…family?”
He shook his head.
“Because of what you do? Acting? You need to be straight?”
“Yes.”
“Max told you that?”
River nodded. “Not for…ev…er.”
“Not forever but for now.”
“Yes.”
Newt assumed there were good reasons. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise. Thank you for telling me.” He took a deep breath. “I had to do the same until a little while ago. Pretend I was straight.”
“Why?”
“It was safer.” He couldn’t tell him the rest. Even if River wasn’t capable of telling Max, Newt didn’t want to go over what had happened to him. This was his new start. He didn’t want it contaminated by the past. Bad enough that the past clung to him like a shadow he couldn’t escape.
“No… Hmm.… Now?” River asked. “Safe?”
