She bites her lip and shakes her head. “I thought it was so obvious. I’d stare at you like a creep constantly.”
“I thought you were glaring at me because you were annoyed with me.”
She lets out a soft chuckle. “My resting annoyed face didn’t give me away then.” She’s quiet for a second. “I was always staring at you because you were hot. And in really good shape.” Her gaze falls to my chest. “You’re still really hot.”
I can’t help the smug grin that pulls at my mouth hearing her say that.
“Do you still like me, wild girl?”
Her eyes are shy as she looks up at me. “Yes. That’s why I made those rules for us to follow when we agreed to fake date. I knew that if I let myself kiss you and fool around with you, I’d catch feelings for you. And I didn’t want to fall for you again like I did in high school, and then get my feelings crushed again if you rejected me, like I thought you did when you asked me to prom.”
Guilt throttles me. I shouldn’t have let my nerves get the best of me that day. I should have just stayed an extra few seconds, and she would have said yes, and we would have gone to prom together and we wouldn’t have had the past four years of her thinking I was a jerk and me thinking she hated me…
I halt the flurry of thoughts in my mind. I can’t fixate on that. I can’t change the past. What I can do is make it clear to Poppy how I feel about her right now.
“I have feelings for you, Poppy. I like you. I care about you. That’s why it hurt so much when you said you didn’t want to be physical anymore. It felt like you were rejecting me. And I’m sorry for what a jerk I was earlier today. I know that wasn’t the right way to handle it, but I felt like I was losing you all over again, like in high school.”
“It’s okay. I understand now why you reacted the way you did.”
She runs her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and hum, savoring her touch.
“I like you too, Nick. A lot. I’m just scared.”
I cup her face in my hand. “Of what?”
“Of getting my heart broken. I was a wreck after things ended with Brody. I can’t go through that again.”
My chest aches seeing the pained look in her eyes. “Poppy, I’d never cheat on you. I’d never hurt you like he did.”
“I know, but…” Her voice is soft. “Have you ever had a serious relationship before?”
“No, but what does that matter?”
She rests her hands on my chest, like she’s working up the nerve to speak. “I like you, Nick. So much. But I won’t lie. I’m nervous about how things will go for us if we try to take things farther than they are now. What if it doesn’t work out? What if we break each other’s hearts? I don’t want hurt you, and I don’t want you to hurt me…”
“Hey.” I kiss her cheek. “I get it. I’m nervous too. I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend for real before.” I swallow. “If you’re not ready, it’s okay. We’ll take things slow.”
She blinks at me. “You’d be okay with that?”
“Yeah. As long as I get to be with you, Poppy, I’m happy.”
“You be okay if we just keep things the way they are now? We still keep going as a fake couple, but we also kiss and fool around? We see where things go, no pressure or expectations?”
A flicker of hope ignites inside of me. I understand why Poppy’s nervous to be in a relationship after what Brody did to her. And this is my chance to prove to her that I can be the kind of boyfriend she wants. Someone who will take care of her, be patient with her, and never, ever hurt her.
If she wants to take things slow, I’ll do it. If all she wants to do is kiss and nothing more, I’ll do it.
Whatever she wants, I’ll do it.
I cup her face in my hands and kiss her slow and soft.
“I’m good with all of that,” I murmur against her mouth.
She moans softly, and a rough noise rips from my throat. Fuck. I love the sounds she makes when I kiss her, when I touch her.
She wraps her hands around my wrist as the intensity of our kiss kicks up. Soon we’re both breathing hard and she’s clawing at my chest.
“I don’t want you to sleep on the couch,” she says. “I want you sleep in bed with me.”
