I stare up at him, ready to fight him on this, but he just raises his eyebrow at me, like he’s silently signaling that he’s not backing down.
I huff out a breath. “Fine.”
I walk into his bedroom and turn to him. “Do you have a T-shirt I can borrow to sleep in? I can’t sleep in my jeans. It’s uncomfortable.” I dial back the hardness in my voice. If I’m going to ask him for a favor, I can’t act like a brat.
He nods and opens the top drawer of his dresser. He hands me a worn T-shirt with the Hollis U hockey team logo on it. Just like his hoodie that he let me keep.
I feel myself soften. Yeah, I’m annoyed at Nick for refusing to talk about what’s bothering him. But I’m also hurt. I thought we were friends. I don't’ like this tension between us. I wish he would talk to me.
“I’ll let you change,” he mutters.
He leaves the room, and I change out of my clothes and into his T-shirt, which is so big that it fits me like a dress.
I sit on the edge of his bed as I scroll through my phone. I’m in the middle of reading the campus cancellations for tomorrow due to the bad weather when he walks back in.
His gaze snags on my thighs, where the hem of his T-shirt hits. He licks his lips, then swallows hard.
Annoyance swoops through me. He’s mad at me, but he still wants to ogle my body.
“What is wrong with you?” I say.
He blinks and looks up at my face. “Huh?”
I laugh out of sheer exasperation. “I don’t understand you at all, Nick. When I told you that I wanted to go back to the rules we set for our fake relationship, you said you were fine with it. And when I first came over today, you seemed fine too. But then something triggered you, and you got upset. You didn’t want to talk about it, though. You just wanted to be quietly mad at me, but now you can’t stop staring at me like you want me. But you can’t stand me right now. I’m so confused.” I throw up my hands. “Why won’t you be honest with me, Nick?”
His gaze on me turns focused, and his jaw works. “You want to talk about honesty, Poppy?” He lets out a bitter chuckle. “That’s funny because I don’t think you’re being honest with me or yourself.”
I stand up to face him, thrown off by his accusation. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Why don’t you tell me why you suddenly want to follow the rules again after we broke them?”
“I told you. Because I don’t think we should complicate things between us.”
He pins me with a pointed gaze. “That’s a cop-out.”
My skin is hot as I process the boldness of his call-out. He’s right. But I can’t admit the real reason why I can’t fool around with him anymore. It’s too personal, too humiliating.
He takes a step toward me. “I made you come on my hand, Poppy. You sucked me off. Things are pretty damn complicated between us already.”
I swallow hard at the bluntness of his words. Then I shake my head. “I can’t, Nick. It’s too hard for me.”
“What’s too hard?” His tone is softer now.
I hesitate for a moment. “I’m not like you. I can’t just hook up with someone and have it be meaningless. I catch feelings.”
His brow furrows like he’s never been more confused. “Wait, you think what we did was meaningless to me?”
I shrug. “You’ve hooked up a lot with a lot of people. This type of thing is easy for you. You don’t do anything serious. You never get attached. You never catch feelings…”
My cheeks heat with embarrassment at what I’m admitting right now, without outright saying it.
That I can’t just hook up with him. Because I like him too much, and I’m starting to form feelings for him.
His shoulders rise and fall with the breath he takes. “Poppy, if you think I don’t have feelings for you, then you’re dead wrong.”
The gears of my brain grind to a halt.
“Wait, you…you have feelings for me?” I stammer.
