“Hey, will you help me take these bags into the garage?” Ryker asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I nod and grab a few bags, then follow him outside. We sort through the recycling and take out the trash. He goes to move the trashcan, but then trips over Dad’s toolbox.
“Shit,” he mutters, before catching himself and leaning against Dad’s truck parked next to us.
He looks at the garden shovel sitting just a few feet away.
“Damn. Good thing you caught yourself. That would’ve been bad,” I say.
He nods and sighs. “Yeah. My reflexes aren’t what they used to be. I’m not a young buck anymore like you. You probably would have jumped over the shovel and done a backflip.”
I chuckle. “Just glad you avoided injury. Can’t have my hockey pro big brother hurting himself in a garage mishap in the middle of the season.”
“Pretty soon I won’t have to be so careful.”
I look over at him. “What do you mean?”
He pauses before he answers me. “At the end of this season, I’m retiring.”
My brow jumps to my hairline. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. I think I’m done with hockey.”
I stand there, stunned at what my brother just said.
“You’re the first person I’ve told, other than Madeline. No one else knows,” he says.
I lean against our dad’s truck. For a while, we just stand there, side by side, saying nothing.
“Wow, man. This is a big deal,” I say. “You sure you’re ready to leave it all behind?”
He nods. He kicks out his leg and winces. That’s the knee he’s injured a few times over his career. He still deals with pain and stiffness.
“I’m ready,” he says. “Hockey’s been my life for over fifteen years. It was everything to me for a while. But now I’m ready to do something else. Something more important. Something that won’t take me away from wife and baby for days on end.”
I nod like I understand. Because even though I don’t know what it’s like be married or have a baby on the way, I know my big brother. I know how hard he worked to make it this far in his hockey career. At thirty-six, he’s often the oldest guy on the ice when he plays. He’s also won a Stanley Cup and works harder than any player out there.
Ryker doesn’t give up easily. He doesn’t quit until he’s given all of himself. That’s why he’s done with hockey. And now he wants to give his all to being a dad.
I glance over at him. “That’s awesome, dude. I’m really happy for you.”
His brow lifts slightly. “Yeah?”
“Hell, yeah. Better to go out this way, on your own terms, and not because you got injured or because you got dropped from your team.”
“Exactly.” He exhales. “I love playing hockey. It’s all I ever wanted to do. But I can’t stand the thought of being gone all the time when my baby’s little. I wanna be there for her. And I want to be a good partner to Madeline. I don’t want to leave her to deal with a screaming baby while I’m off playing a stretch of away games.”
He turns to me and pats my shoulder. “You’re gonna be the lone hockey player in the family soon.”
I crack a smile, despite the anxiety I feel. I want that more than anything. I want to follow in my brother’s footsteps.
“If I make it to the pros and I’m half as good as you are, I’ll be happy,” I say.
His expression warms. I can’t remember the last time he looked at me like that.
“You’re gonna be better than me, Nick.”
My big brother’s encouragement hits me hard. I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.
