“But—”
“Lizzy, just get him!” I shouted, wringing my hands as a flood of images swarmed me.
“I’ll ask again. Where is the journal?”
It wasn’t going to stop. He wanted the journal, and he would do this until he got what he wanted, but I couldn’t give in. If I did, that meant he won. Millions of people would die, and I wouldn’t have that on my conscience, even though I knew I would never be walking out of here again.
When I didn’t answer, the board tipped back, and the air was stripped from my lungs as the towel was thrown over my face again. Over and over, they poured water on my face, trying to get me to talk. Every time, I came just a little bit closer to giving in, but I never did. My body ached and my lungs burned, but I held strong.
Fire burned through my lungs as I tried to hold out, refusing to give them what they wanted. I would never tell them. They could torture me all they wanted, but the location of that journal would never be theirs.
Tossing the rag aside, they removed the board and threw me right in the water andheld me under. Water seeped into my mouth, and I choked on the water until black spots filled my vision.
This was it. This was the end.
“Blake!”
I spun around and lunged into Parker’s arms, my eyes filling with tears as I squeezed him tight.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he whispered.
I felt him motion for the girls to leave. The door slammed, and only then did I feel truly safe again. It was just the two of us. We were back on the ranch and no one could hurt us.
“Baby, you gotta tell me what’s going on,” he asked, his voice low and urgent.
I could feel the panic coming off him in waves, but I just couldn’t get the words out. Not when those memories were so fresh in my mind.
Instead of pressuring me, Parker picked me up and carried me into the living room, sitting down on the couch where he cradled me in his arms as the worst of the panic attack passed.
Slowly, my grip on him lessened and I could breathe again without feeling like the world was going to come crashing down around me. Sniffling, I pulled back, brushing the tears from my face.
The understanding in his eyes nearly undid me for the second time.
“Sorry,” I murmured.
“It’s okay. I get them sometimes, too,” he smiled, brushing my hair back from my face.
“You do? I’ve never seen them.”
His lips quirked up in a smile. “Well, that’s because I’m supposed to be the stronger one. Can’t fail at that again.”
“God,” I laughed, pressing my head against his chest. “I’m so sorry about pushing you out the window.”
“I know, baby. You’re a fighter. I’d expect nothing less.”
“Even if I am screwed up?”
His hand slowly stroked my back, soothing me in the way only he could. It felt so good to just be the two of us that I almost wanted to tell him to call off the wedding.
“Baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to my temple. “You met me at my lowest. You were there for me in a way no one else was or could be. And then we fought through hell to get out alive. By some miracle, we came out in one piece, and I’m still not sure how that happened. So, the nightmares, the panicattacks…and anything else that comes from that shit show is a piece of cake. We can deal with that.”
I swiped the tears from my cheeks and smiled at him. “I really am sorry about the window. Are you okay?”
He took a breath, holding it for a second. “Knight is here with everyone else. Define okay.”
Laughing, I hugged him tight again. “This really is going to be different from what we’re used to.”
“I know, but you’ll be great.”
