My eyes fluttered closed as he gently washed me, taking his time to get every nook and cranny. I couldn’t deny that it felt nice for him to take care of me like this. There was nothing better than the feel of his hands on me.
But just as I was beginning to enjoy the massage he was giving me, flashes of the last time he washed me sprang to mind, along with the accompanying images that refused to leave me alone.
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to forget about how it had just been a few months ago that I was waterboarded and nearly died in a freezing cell.
“Blake!”
Sitting up, I stared into the darkness, sure I was hearing things.
“Parker?” I heard the rattle of keys and knew he was real. “How did you get here?”
The door swung open and bright light shone inside the cell, nearly blinding me. In a flash, I was in his arms, and he was kissing me hard. I shivered against him, still drenched from my most recent ice bath with Dennick.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes inspecting every inch of me.
“Just cold,” I lied. I was far from okay, but I had to focus on the positive. The door was open, which meant we could get out of here.”
“Then let’s get out of here and warm you up.”
“I like the sound of that.”
He shoved a gun in my hands, but I barely held on, my hands were shaking so hard.
“Are you good?”
Though my teeth chattered and my skin pricked with pain, I shrugged it off. “I’ll be fine.”
“Just don’t shoot me. I know I kind of have it coming, but I’d like to make it out of here.”
“Why would I shoot you? I’d just throw you through a window,” I laughed, then followed him out of the cell and into the warmth.
It was only because of him that I was still here today. And I should be living harder because of it, but every now and then, I remembered what it was like to come crashing down and to fall to pieces with him in the shower.
How tenderly he took care of me when I felt like everything inside me was shattering.
If it hadn’t been for him, I would still be trapped in that cell in my mind. And sometimes, I felt like I was headed back there. Like right now.
It took everything in me to stand still as he washed my hair. All I wanted to do was hide under the blanket and forget those terrifying hours where I held strong, refusing to give any information. I was damn proud of myself for holding out, but that didn’t mean it didn’t come with consequences.
I didn’t want Parker to see me as weak, to look at me like something that needed to be cherished. We had something good, something strong, and the idea that he would only see that woman lying on the ground, naked and freezing, was just too damn much.
“Hey. Where did you go?” he whispered, pressing kisses to my neck.
“Hmm?”
“You zoned out.”
“Did I?” Smiling, I turned to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Just thinking about the last few months, and where we are now.”
“Good change?”
I laughed at the way his eyes twinkled in amusement. “Well, I didn’t mind the bunker that much. Those mattresses were amazing.”
“And the pillows. I really miss the pillows. Maybe we should have stolen a few.”
“Chance wouldn’t have minded,” I added thoughtfully.
“Are you kidding? That whole place was decked out for him. He probably takes an inventory of what’s there every night.”
