"Why? Because you're hungover?"
"What? No. How do you even know abouthungover?"
Avery laughs. "I don't know!"
"All right. Go brush your teeth; let's go."
As she laughs down the hall to the bathroom, Nolan looks at me and shakes his head, but he's smiling. "I'll be back, okay?"
"Okay."
Once Avery finishes brushing her teeth and the two of them are reading in her room, I grab my things and head to the bathroom to get ready for bed, too. I change into a t-shirt and pajama pants, wash my face, and brush my teeth.
But after I put my things away, a small black leather bag on the counter catches my eye. I've seen it before—on the countertop in the bathroom Nolan shares with Dax.
I know I shouldn't snoop, but I can't help it. I know so little about him, and I just…
I don't know.
He knows a lot about me. I live with him. He knows my body; he knows about the worst thing I've ever done, and he's seen me cry. And I can't even touch him. I don't know what made his eyes look the way they do.
I feel like a criminal unzipping the bag. I take out his razor, smell his shaving cream, and spray a little bit of his cologne in the air. It smells good—more airy versus Dax's woodsy scent. I decide to put a small amount on my wrist so I can smell likeboth of them. Then I find a tube of cherry chapstick, and decide to put that on, too.
The next thing I pull out is a pill bottle…and then another one, both withBRENNAN, NOLAN JAMESprinted across the front.
Now I'm really being nosy; this is worse than just wearing some of his chapstick—this is intrusive. I can feel it in my gut. Still, I take out my phone and google the unfamiliar names of the medications, my hands shaking like I'm going to get caught. But I get my answer.
Nolan is on multiple medications for anxiety and depression.
Feeling guilty, I quickly put everything back, grab my stuff, and leave the bathroom, pausing when I hear my name through Avery's cracked bedroom door.
"Are you sure Saige isn't your girlfriend?" Avery asks. "You never bring anyone over, and she's really pretty. I like the pink in her hair."
"I'm sure," he says. "Sheisreally pretty, but she isn't my girlfriend."
"Well, why don't you ever have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend? Do you like being alone? Don't you want to get married?"
"Mmm…" He pauses, laughing a little. "Jesus. Um, I don't think I'malone, but…I also probably won't get married. And that won't necessarily be because I don't want to. But I've got you, right? You're my favorite person in the world, so I hope you don't actually think I'm a mean and terrible brother. That would really hurt my feelings."
"I was just joking," she says. "I wish you'd come home more, though."
"I'll do better," he tells her. "Do you need anything else before I go?"
"Is Saige's dad dead?"
"Um, no. I think he just left."
"Well, where did he go? Did he disappear, too?"
"No, I think she still talks to him. He just lives far away."
"Well, why doesn't my dad want to talk to me?"
Nolan sighs. "I don't know, Avery. But it's his loss."
"Okay…" she says. But then she starts to cry.
"Hey, it's all right…"
