"I know. But Alex said you can paint it any color you want. He really wants you to feel at home here, Saige."
Frowning, I tell her, "Yeah, okay. I just want to go to bed."
"Okay. I love you. The bathroom is just next door, okay? I know you haven't gotten the chance to unpack yet, so…I'm at the opposite end of the hall; just let me know if you need anything."
"Thanks," I mutter.
"You're a good daughter, Saige," she says, hugging me again. "I know you're nervous about starting a new school when you have only two years to go, and you'll miss Sawyer and your friends, but they'll still be there."
"I'm not so sure about that," I say, shrugging her off.
"I get the apprehension; I do. But you're beautiful, smart, and thoughtful. You're always putting others first; there aren't many people like that anymore. He'd be foolish to fumble you."
Cringe.I sit on the bed, dropping my face into my hands. "Mom, please, for the love of god—"
"Okay, sorry. I'm just…so glad you're here. I'll leave you alone now. I love you. Good night."
"Night."
But you know what I hear lurking beneath what she just said? I've been too nice, just like Elias told me. And that's why this is happening to me.
She finally leaves, closing the door behind her, and I exhale slowly before standing and crossing the room to that stack of boxes, sorting through them until I find my clothes. I swap my denim shorts for a pair of sweats, leaving on my band tee and slipping off the bra beneath it. Then, after ensuring the hallway is empty, I make my way to the bathroom, holding my breath until the door closes behind me.
It's small, with a freestanding sink, an older toilet, and small hexagonal porcelain tiles. There's a shower/tub combo with a dark blue curtain.
And it smells like a man in here. A canister of shaving cream sits on the sink with a razor next to it. I open the medicine cabinet and find men's cologne, hair products, and lotions. I'm going to have to share this bathroom with my stepbrother, who is most definitelynota little boy.
I use the bathroom, wash my face and hands, and then return to the small pink bedroom. After moving the pillows, shaking out the blankets, and turning off the light, I crawl into the unfamiliar warmth of the bed. I think of Elias, somewhere in the woods, sleeping on the floor of that dilapidated cabin with his dog. Before I can feel bad for him—before I can wish I'd done something differently, I reach inside my shirt, finding the bruise he left when he sank his teeth into my skin earlier and press down on it.
It hurts, just like I wanted it to.
I don't really think I can do long distance. I don't really think I can do long distance.I don't really think I can do long distance.
He didn't even look sad; he grimaced when he said it, crinkling his nose like he'd just said something like,I think there's something wrong with the cheese curds.
With my fingers still digging into the bruised flesh and the words replaying in my head, I let myself cry again until I fall asleep.
I'm not sure what time I wake up the next morning, but it feels late. I reach for my phone, but it's dead. Late morning sun streams through the large picture window as I never closed the curtains last night. In daylight, the area is even more beautiful, with mountains in the distance, and the forest behind me painted in the colors of fall.
My stomach growls, and, realizing I can't put this off forever and might as well get it over with, I dress in a pair of straight legged jeans with torn knees and a black cami and head downstairs, smelling my mom's blueberry pancakes before I hit the landing. To the right of the foyer through an arched doorway is a bright, open living room, with a large TV mounted into a stack stone wall above a gas fireplace. To the left is a kitchen, where my mom stands over a large range, laughing while Alex whispers in her ear. Before I can interrupt, she sees me, her eyes lighting up as she motions for me to join them.
"Saige, come here, sweetheart," she says. "I'm just about done with breakfast, and there's coffee on the bar over there." She gestures to the space behind her while Alex wraps his armsaround her waist, taking her left hand in his own while the other holds a spatula.
My gaze drops to their wedding rings. I wonder if he wore a ring when they met.
"Thanks." I cross the room to the coffee maker, taking a mug from the cabinet.
"Go ahead and have a seat in the dining room, sweetie," Mom tells me, tossing the final pancakes onto a plate.
"Where do I sit?" I ask.
"Sit wherever you want," Alex says. "I really want you to feel like this is your home, too, Saige. This is a new start for all of us, so pick whichever chair you want, and it'll be yours."
A glass pitcher of orange juice sits on the table along with a fruit tray and another small plate with sausage.
I don't miss that there are four places set.
I choose the chair closest to me, and my mom sits across from me with Alex at her side.
