Oh, Saige. I'll definitely be coming…when I get you.
You'll have cum dripping out of every one of your bloody holes…and the new ones I make, too.
And then they send a picture of women's underwear soaked in cum. I gag before I swipe on the thread and delete them all.
But then I wish I hadn't, because the more I think about that picture, the more I wonder if those weremyunderwear. I have a pair like that; I'm pretty sure. I'm trying to remember if I've worn them recently—if I packed them when I moved into my hostage bunker or if I left them in my dorm.
I know this person has been in my dorm. But surely, he hasn't been in the house, too. It wouldn't be possible, would it?
I remember that day with the open door, and I'm not so sure.
Fuck this.Fuck. This.
I stop at a corner shop and buy another pack of cigarettes, because fuck Dax's stupid rule. Not only does he not care about me, they can't keep me safe at all.
I've been delusional.
As soon as I get outside, I light it, savoring that first fucking hit of nicotine. By the time I get back to the house, I've smoked two down to the filter.
I enter through the garage door, using the code as I typically do. Of course, Nolan is here.
"Hey, I was wondering where you were," he says. "It's getting late. I just sent you a text."
I'm not sure what to think about him right now, either. What is he going to think about me if I tell him I don't want to be here anymore? And that I can't be around Dax anymore?
He likes me. But he loves Dax.
Dax doesn't love him back, though—that's what he said.
I could love him back. I don't even think I need much. I just want someone who doesn't lie to me. I want someone who will be there on my worst days, and today is one of those days. I want someone who sets my soul on fire—someone who makes me question everything, in the best fucking way.
I want someone who wants me back without ulterior motives. Is that really too much to fucking ask for?
Yes, the voice in my head says.Everyone will disappoint you eventually.
"Sorry, I didn't see it."
"Dax said he's cool with doing whatever, so let me know what you want to do. There are a couple of movies that look good; I can send you the links. If you're not feeling that, we can hit up a couple of the bars after he gets back."
Sighing, I set my things down and sit beside him on the couch. I didn't want to do thisright now.
"Or maybe we could leave right now?"
Nolan shrugs. "I guess. We could go grab dinner, and I can text him to meet us somewhere when they get home."
"No, I mean…I just want it to be us. I don't want to be around Dax right now."
His brow furrows in confusion. "Why not? What did Dax do?"
I swallow the lump in my throat. "He doesn't like me."
"What are you talking about? Dax likes you."
"No, he doesn't. You heard what he said the other day; you know how he thinks of me. He's manipulating me, and if Elias is right, then you know he is because you've watched him do it before."
I watch him consider it for a second before he says, "No. He didn't mean that, Saige. This is different; I can tell. I know him."
I press my lips together before blinking back tears. "No, it's not. I think you want it to be different, but it's not. I'm not special."
