“Over you? Yes.”
Unwelcome feelings swarm for my attention. I push them back. “Do you love being such a big man, Jake? Does it turn you on? Oh, wait, I already know.” I close my eyes and make an O-face. “Uhh, Jake, you’re sohuge, you’re sobig. Ooh, I think I’m gonnacomeon yourbig, huge cock?—”
“You had someone bigger than me?”
“Huh?”
Jake just watches me, eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer.
I could lie, say I’ve had twice as big. But he always catches my lies. I decide to flip his non-response back to him. “Why do you care?”
Jake looks around, then leans across the table. He’s so tall that he can lower his mouth beside my ear.
“Because,” he says, in a voice like woodsmoke. “If I’m the biggest dick you ever had, you’ve never been fucked before. Not the way I fucked you.”
Goosebumps burst across my chest. I try to swallow and find I can’t. “Is that something that matters to you?”
“Not usually, but I wanted to be your first, Ada.”
I blink. “What?”
“Back at school. I wanted your virginity.”
The idea is so ludicrous it burns. “Bullshit.”
He laughs softly. “I saw you the day you transferred in. You were so cute and shy, I knew you hadn’t fucked anyone yet. Probably hadn’t even kissed anyone. I wanted it to be me so bad it kept me up nights.”
“You’re such a liar,” I whisper, but he’s right about the kissing. My first kiss wasn’t until at Juilliard, and it was nothing. This feels like… something else.
“Sexy little virgin with her angel face and her perfect fucking body.” Jake’s voice takes on a mid-sex rasp. “Yeah, I’ve been pulling off to your videos, Ada. But back then? It was three times a day over you. Easy.”
The idea of a young Jake Graves-Holland working himself furiously to thoughts ofmeshort-circuits my brain. That was always Cece’s fantasy, the hottest boy in school, secretly obsessed. I think anyone could want me back then, let alone someone like Jake.
His hand cups my jaw, and that thought, all my thoughts, disintegrate.
“Wanna know what I wanted the most?” he rasps.
I nod as everything in my lower body vibrates.
“I wanted to eat you out on the rugby field after a win. Lick you ’til you came on my facewith the whole team watching. Give the boys a show, then fuck you right there. Me, all covered in sweat and mud, and you all pretty and clean. I wanted to make you dirty, Ada. Rail you so hard you soaked me.”
I can hear myself breathing. Feel myself drenching my underwear. I’m not pretending to want Jake. It’s easy. No, it’seffortless. I’m not masking. I’m struggling to mask how turned on I am.I haven’t felt this way about a man…
“Ever,” I whisper.
His lips graze my hairline. “What was that?”
I shut my eyes. I can see the two of us on that field, but I can also see the dorm room where I actually lost my virginity to a guy who sucked. Where I first learned how sleeping with someone just to feel pretty only makes things uglier. It’s a lesson I had to re-learn so many times, and the memories of those experiences sear through the veil of my lust.
What does it matter if Jake wanted me when we were kids? If he had this secret fantasy of being my first? That’s not what happened, and what happened was fucking awful. No thanks to Jake Graves-Holland staying so far away from me at school, I didn’t even recognise him.
I fumble for my vape, sucking in minty smoke like it’s oxygen. “Are you working your way towards a point here, champ?”
Jake’s mouth becomes a hard line. He sits back in the booth with a thump, folding his tattooed arms across his chest. “Yeah. You need a dick between your legs, and it’s gonna be mine. You can get it upstairs, or you can get it back at my place. Those are your choices. I’m sick of this shit, Ada.”
His words hit like a velvet whip, a perfect balance of mean and delicious. “I… why would we go upstairs?”
“Because your bed’s there.”
