“You mean before or after we had to throw out a grand’s worth of food and order pizza?”
I bite my lower lip to keep from laughing. “Both.”
“It was uneventful. Wedding might be off, though.”
Dear Lord, I know I stopped going to church on account of Jenny Wallis, but if you get me through this with a straight face, I swear I’ll be back next Sunday…
“Really? How come?”
“Henry’s missus found a used condom in his jacket when he got home. But you wouldn’t know anything about that either, would you?”
I turn sideways, pressing my hand to my mouth to trap the manic giggles. It doesn’t help. They come exploding out like fireworks. I give in, shaking and howling and slapping my knees, cackling like Aggie on a good day. Jake studies me, his expression wry but not unamused.
“You’re trouble, aren’t you?” he asks when I finally quiet down.
“Yes,” I say, flicking the tears from my eyes. “Run while you still can.”
“I don’t want to.”
The last of my laughter dies on my lips. Dear God, this is not what I need right now…
“I’m into you,” he says, adding insult to injury.
What am I supposed to do with that information? Thank him? Say‘Cool, but that doesn’t really gel with my revenge plans’?Isettle for grabbing my fresh margarita and taking a big old swallow.
Jake leans toward me, his face so intent you’d think we were about to buy a house together. “I mean it, I like you.”
“’Kay,” I garble through lime and tequila.
“I can’t stop thinking about this.” He gestures between us. “You gonna give me another go, or what?”
I put down my glass. “Like, on my pussy?”
“Like, out to dinner. What’re you doing tomorrow night?”
“Isn’t there some twenty-two-year-old influencer you could be buying a Pandora charm for?”
He grins, but it’s not a‘Hell yeah, I have a pet influencer’grin.More‘You’re so funny and cute, Ada Renaldo.’
Which is not what I wanted.
“Did you actually come here just to ask me out? I thought you were all pissed off at me for ruining ‘Bachelor Party Two: Bach Harder’?”
Jake shrugs. “Food’s not a big deal, and Henry wasn’t acting like a bloke who wanted to get married, anyway.”
This is why my plan primarily involves seducing dudes. People say girls are all underhanded and hate each other, but I’ve never met a man who wouldn’t shove all his mates into a dumpster for sex. Still, that line of thinking won’t help me get rid of Jake.
“I confess to unplugging the Airbnb fridge on purpose,” I say, examining my nails. “I also kicked over the bins and stole a phone from Jeremy Applethorpe that I plan on flogging on Facebook Marketplace tomorrow. Feel free to leave this booth immediately and call the cops.”
Jake just laughs. “I thought thatwas you. You rigged the deck, too, yeah?”
“Sorry?”
“The cards. Waterfall. You were sliding the sixes through the pack, so the boys had to drink more.”
Unless I’ve spontaneously entered perimenopause, a blush I haven’t felt in years is burning its way across my face. “Prove it in a court of law.”
“Can’t. You’re good, though.”
