“Right? And well, after I finished stalking her, I stalked Hayley Dean.”
“Pregnant?”
“With her third.”
“Called it.”
“She’s in an MLM and posts all these pregnancy workout videos. Her kids are always in matching clothes.”
“Yuck. We should hire a child psychologist. Try to break the trauma-cycle before shit goes fullWe Need to Talk about Kevin.”
“Probably. And I was thinking…”
Ada’s eyebrows rise. “You were thinking?”
“I could be better. On social media. I could look like I’m better, at least.”
“What? Shut up. No. You don’t need to be anything other than what you are. You’re perfect.”
“You shut up. Iknowsocial media doesn’t reflect real life and blah blah blah, but it helps create an overall impression, you know? And I’d like my impression to be a little flashier than sticky bar floors and that pic of me off my face at the glowworm caves.”
“I love that picture!”
“I do too, but it doesn’t exactly scream ‘successful businesswoman.’ More ‘yes to stricter safety regulations.’ Everyone from school’s gonna be all over social media during the reunion, and I want to give off a good vibe.”
Ada makes a face. “Let me get this straight: even though you know everyone we’re gonna see at this thing is a total cunt, you wanna update your socials so you look like a parallel cunt?”
“Exactly. But like,servingcunt, notbeinga cunt. Important distinction.”
“It is. Well, since I’m going to this reunion shitshow, it’s in for apenny, in for a pound, I guess.” Ada picks up her phone and taps the screen. After a few seconds, her shoulders shake with laughter.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“The glowworm picture.” She flashes her screen at me, and I catch an eyeful of myself in a bikini top and a backwards orange safety hat, my pupils blown wide, hallucinogenic-laced chocolate smeared across my cheeks. Between the dark cave and blurry glowworms, I look like I’ve stumbled into a galaxy mid-trip, and I’m terrified by it.
“Do you see how that’s not going to earn me any class points at the reunion?”
“I see that it’s cute and hilarious. Gets me every time.” Ada screenshots the picture, though she must have a dozen copies saved by now.
“I love you, little weirdo,” she tells the image, before looking up at me. “Are you sure about this? I’ll do anything for you, even let you bone Will Sharpe—” She makes the sign of the cross “—but I hate the idea of you watering yourself down for these has-beens.”
I sigh. “Can I be honest?”
“I already said, honesty is the best?—”
“Policy, yes, yes, thanks, Mum. But no, I mean it, I… I know I should feel more comfortable in my own skin, but this year’s been hard.Reallyhard.”
Ada frowns. “I know it has, but you’re working your tits off, and you’re turning it around.”
My insides shiver.You don’t know the half of it.
“Thanks,” I force myself to say. “But it’s not just the bar—it’s the judgement. Everyone acted like I’d lost my mind when I said I was leaving nursing. You can’t tell anyone you quit pediatrics because the stress was insane without them looking at you like you failed every sick kid in the country.”
Ada nods. I know she gets it. I might not have all the details of why she abandoned the Philharmonie de Paris, but I know we’re both carrying the weight of doing the opposite of what people expected of us. I knot my hands together.
“When I was nursing,it was like I had on this cape that automatically earned respect. And it was nice to be the one people were proud of. It meant I had accomplished more in my life than just being Tristan’s sister.”
Ada nods again. She knows all about my issues with Perfect Tristan and his Perfect Life. She picked me up from the first popular kids party I got invited to. The one where Tristan was the only person I knew. My brother wouldn’t even speak to me, just hissed that I needed to find my own friends when I tried to join his game of flip cup.
