The plate is now inches from Ada’s folded arms, her eyes laser-beam focused on the steaming carbs. Her lips are slightly parted, and I can almost see her salivating.
“No,” she says, recoiling up the bed. “The only reason anyone in Pukekohe would care about my music is as a way to platform jokes about me shoving a flute up my twat. You’re not telling me something. Why are we really having this conversation?”
Goddammit.I can never hide anything from this woman. But she’s right, twenty-four hours ago, I would have rather shat in my hands and clapped than go to our high school reunion.
I exhale, sitting on the side of the bed. “I… Will Sharpe is single.”
Ada’s laughter fills the room. “Thereit is.”
“Please don’t,” I whisper, my cheeks blazing hot. “I’m being ultra-vulnerable here.”
“What you’re being is bonkers. You were gonna drag me all the way to Pukekohe on the weak promise of fun instead of just telling me you wanted legacy dick?” She shakes her head. “Honesty is the best policy,Cecelia.”
I feel a burst of home. “So you’ll come?”
“Hard no. Will Sharpe is a pants-shitting turbo loser, and you’re too good for him. But I respect the request. Now, please give me the potato and reevaluate your sexual urges.”
“Ada, come on! I know you don’t like Will?—”
“Wrong. I hate that cunt. He threw an apple at me on the side field, remember? He got me in the back of the head?”
“You don’tactuallyknow it was him.”
“I do. Also, best-case scenario, he still stood there laughing as one of his mates threw an apple at me. Is that better?”
It’s my turn to fold my arms. “No. Yes. I don’t know. What I do know is that he was a bit of a classic rugby guy?—”
“Sadistic fuckbag.”
“—back then,” I continue, determinedly. “But that was a long time ago. Will’s really sweet, and I know you haven’t seen that side of him, but I have. Anyway, I can’t help the way I feel.”
“The way your pussy feels, more like.”
“Ada, please!” I beg. “What I’m saying is if my feelings haven’t gone away in fifteen years, maybe it’s time to act on them?”
She doesn’t say anything as she reaches for the plate. I study her as she picks up a piece of potato and takes a bite. Even hungover, even eating, with melted cheese all over her fingers, she’s gorgeous. All eyes and lips and tits. The kind of woman guys would throw their wedding rings into a volcano to spend the night with. Ada hasn’t known what it’s like to have an unrequited obsession since high school. As soon as she left Pukekohe—where she was too intimidating for anyone to shoot their shot with—she’s been able to get whoever, whenever.
A lump forms in my stomach. Of course my best friend isn’t going to come to the reunion with me. She doesn’t know what it’s like to have the memory of one guy give you butterflies all the way through your twenties and into your thirties. It’s pathetic.
I’mpathetic.
But I’m pathetic enough to believe maybe it could be different now, without Tristan around, making me feel like a weird side character in his life. Now Will and I are older, and Jenny’s shown her truecolours, he might see me in a whole new light—as a hot, fully-grown woman and a successful business owner.
I’m not, obviously. But I canappearthat way. Nobody knows the bar’s finances are in the garbage except me. Especially not Ada. She’d flip her lid if she knew I hadn’t paid myself a salary in almost a year. That I’ve been living off the nursing money I haven’t already poured into the business. If I told her, she’d be on her banking app making lump payments into my account before I finished the first sentence, but that would defeat the purpose of why I took over the bar. I need to make this work myself. To prove to myself I can do it. So what if it’s taking a little longer than expected? I’ll get to a life where I don’t hyperventilate over bank statements eventually. But for now, I just want people to see me the way I already see Future Me, glamorous and competent and sexy.
I wantWillto see me that way.
Tears brew in the corners of my eyes. I turn my face to the sagging ceiling, blinking hard.Jesus.I thought I was feeling pathetic before, and now I’m crying?
“Cece,” Ada says calmly. “I get that people do stupid things for sex. I’m the last person who’d judge you for that. But Will Sharpe sucks hole.”
I scrub at the saltwater leaking across my cheeks. “Sure. Fine. That’s totally fine. We won’t go to the reunion.”
“Cece…”
I attempt a sunny smile. “So where were you last night? Did you get revenge on all the stags?”
Ada’s not willing to play along. “You look like a sad kitten.”
