Ada rolls her eyes. “What does it matter if Davis is younger and richer than you? Is he nice to you when he’s not being overbearing out of a misguided sense that he’s being helpful? Does he treat people with respect? Does he look you in the eye when he talks to you and actually listen to your answers instead of just waiting for his turn to talk again?”
“I… Yes.”
“Well, I know the bar for good male behaviour is through the floor, but it’s a solid start. And you can check out the rest alongthe way, if you’re keen. Are you keen?”
I am. Iamkeen on Davis. I have been for months. Ever since I met him. What I feel for him is… big. Unwieldy. Foreign. He is not the safe guy I’ve always dreamed of. He’s the polar opposite. His age. His career success. His gorgeous face. It feels like aiming too high. The drop could destroy me.
But what if there is no drop?the little voice whispers inside me. The Almost Girl in me flinches.
Because if there’s no drop, then there’s just us. Me and Davis. Joking and smiling and passing each other cups of tea instead of booze and soda over a bar, snuggled up watching movies with his cat. And that scares me.
Because it’s all I want.
The safety I’ve been craving? It isn’t thethings—cars and jobs and picket fences. It’s the feeling. The certainty of knowing someone has my back. That they’re looking out for me. Someone I can fall to pieces in front of who’ll hold me instead of expecting me to stay strong.
Davis has proven over and over that he can do those things. So, if Ada’s right and if he does have feelings for me, it means the only thing that’s been stopping me from reaching for my own romantic happiness is… me.
Willseemedsafe because I knew him. Davisissafe.
Fuck.
“I yelled at him,” I whisper.
“Who cares?” Ada says. “I yell at Jake all the time, and he’s still all over me.”
“It’s true,” Jake confirms, his hands actively all over her.
“What if Davis thinks I only want him now because Will turned out to be a flaming pile of horseshit?”
“Is that what happened?” Ada demands.
I shake my head, teeth digging into my lower lip.
“Then tell him that. Tell him you’ve seen the light, he’s Jesus, and you’re dying for the second coming.”
“I feel like that’s not the phrasing he’s looking for.”
“Why do you think he’s still here?” Jake asks. “He came to helpout Ada, but he stayed because of you. I messaged him last night and told him you’d shaken off your fuckwit fetish.”
While I’m reeling from that new information, Ada steps around Jake and places both her hands on my shoulders. “For once in your life, ask for whatyouwant.”
I’m moving to the balcony before she’s finished speaking, phone already in hand. I pull the door shut behind me and bring up Davis’s number. It goes straight to voicemail.
“This is Davis Sanderson. Please leave a message, and I’ll get back to you.”
Fuck fuck fuck. What do I say?
“Davis. Hi. It’s Cece.”
It’s a shit start. The man has both my phone number and caller ID.
“… I’m sorry about what I said before I left the city. I’m not sorry I called you out on being overbearing because youwere?—”
Dial it back. Dial it back.
“—but I shouldn’t have said it like that. I appreciate everything you do. More than appreciate. I, um… Fuck, I like you. You’re so kind and generous, and I’m sorry if I’ve been a bitch, but I really, really like you. Not as a bouncer, as a person, and maybe when I get back to the city, we could discuss any thoughts you might have on that. No worries if not. Okay, bye!”
I punch the button to end the call and stare at my phone in horror.
