Jake downs the last of his whiskey. “You know fuck-all about me.”
Davis folds his arms across his chest. “Go on then. Enlighten me. Why do a bunch of fuckwits mean more to you than Ada?”
“They don’t. But back in the day, they were all I had.”
“Yeah? They gas you up after every try? Make you feel like a big man?”
“Pretty much.” Jake’s smile is as bitter as lemon peel. “Only you’re missing the bit where my mum’s dead and my dad’s fucked off, and rugby’s the only reason I’ve got any mates. The only reason I’m worth anything to anyone.”
“Shit,” Davis mutters.
“It was shit,” Jake says quietly. “I just wanted to be normal. Have people. And when I was good at rugby, I had people. My old mates, all the guys I hung out with back then, I know they’re not much, but they were there for me once.”
“And now?”
“Now I see them for what they are,” Jake says flatly. “They’re not all good people. Some of them are cunts. But they were good to me back in the day. And not just when I was scoring tries. They made me laugh. Gave me rides. Let me crash at their places. Said ‘hi’ to my Nan at games. It doesn’t change the shitty things they did, but it’s hard to untangle that from all the good stuff.”
“Like, how half of them abused Ada?”
Jesus, Davis must have fallen out of the bravery tree and hit every branch on the way down today. Then again, he cares about Ada. Not the way he cares about Cece, but he does care for her.
Jake doesn’t even flinch. “I had no idea how fucked up things were for Ada back then. Not ’til she told me yesterday. But I can’t change what I didn’t know. Still, if you wanna call me a pussy and a bootlicker, go right ahead.”
For a second, I think Davis is going to do just that, then he grins. “Sounds like Ada beat me to it.”
“Yup,” Jake says. “Came at me with both barrels.”
“Not surprising,” Davis mutters, but it’s the way Des says ‘Geez’ that gets my goat.
“We all know Ada’s a live one,” I say, sticking my head through the kitchen window. “But you like that about her, don’t you, Jake? How strong she is?”
He looks right at me, his grey eyes dark as storm clouds. “Of course.”
I smile. “Well, fire’s nice to look at, but it’ll still burn the shit out of you if you don’t handle it right.”
“I know,” Jake says hollowly.
“Still, it’s better than sitting in the cold. And it’ll keep all the baddies from your camp. I’d say it’s worth loving a bit of fire, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“You love her, doncha, mate?” Des says wistfully. “True love and all that?”
Jake laughs humourlessly. “Only from the moment I first saw her.”
“Atta boy.” Des claps him on the shoulder. “Best way to have it happen.”
Something twists in my chest. I haven’t wanted a bar of Des since the mess with Gwen, but the man’s been persistent since his divorce. Drinks here most weekends, nothing too hard, just nursing a couple, before he walks me to my car at the end of my shift. Never pushes for a date or anything, just asks if I want a bite to eat, and always takes no for an answer. It’s hard not to think he might deserve a second look.
Especially when I saw him squatting in the walk-in. The way his jeans fit his backside was no joke. He got up easy, too,which means he’s still got good knees. Limber…
Jake lets out the longest groan in the world. “Fuck me, if I could just go back.I’d lay it all on the line the day Ada showed up at school. No one would’ve ever got near her. Especially not Jenny.”
I think about telling him it’s too late for that, but Jake’s face says he already knows it, so I return to the grill and toss the mountain of golden loaves onto a platter. No frills, no garnish. Just butter, salt and carbs for the broken-hearted.
I park the plate in front of the boys, and re-take my seat in the booth.
Jake and Des both grab rolls, but Davis simply stares at the All Black. “Sorry.”
