“The method by which we will get you pregnant.”
I stare at him. For months my men have been arguing their options, whether Eli as the head of the Velvet House family should have the first child, or if they should use a ballot system or just continue sleeping with me and see what happens. “You’ve actually decided?”
“Yes.”
“And no one died in a knife fight?”
“Domenico tried to initiate several but was successfully ignored.” Eli smiles. “Fate will decide who fathers our first child.”
My mouth falls open. “You’re leaving it to chance?”
“Yes,” he says, without hesitation.
I can’t believe it. Of my four lovers, Eli is the most controlling and the proudest. I was sure he’d strong-arm the others into letting him be my baby daddy. “And if my first child isn’t biologically yours?”
Eli lifts his head like a jungle cat. “Any child you bear will be my son or daughter.”
My heart gives a little pang. “That’s sweet.”
“So, why can’t we begin our little family? Be honest, January.”
I draw a deep breath. “I’m worried about how overprotective you are. How all four of you are. I’m scared if we have kids, you’ll be super controlling, and I grew up controlled and it was the loneliest thing in the world.”
Eli’s face falls, but he doesn’t say anything, and I press on.
“I don’t want to have babies who grow up in chains. If we have a daughter, I know you’ll all be incredibly worried about her and make her feel awful for wanting to travel the world or explore her sexuality—”
Eli chokes on nothing. “Explore her—”
“Explore her sexuality,” I repeat loudly. “You know, the way you guys did with hundreds of women who weren’t me?”
He has the sense to look humbled.
“If we have a boy,” I continue. “I worry about what he’ll learn from the four of you.”
“Learnfrom us?”
“You all work in a dangerous and competitive field. He might think he needs to live up to your reputation. To be even meaner and bossier than you.”
Eli shakes his head. “Our son can do what he likes. Architecture. Acting. He can dig ditches if that will make him happy.”
“You say that now, but I feel like he’d feel pressured to join the business.”
Eli gives me a considering look. “Velvet House is moving away from our more…illegitimate activities. Soon we’ll be an entirely lawful enterprise, one our children could be proud to be a part of.”
I say nothing. Eli could be telling me the truth, but he also could be telling me what hehopeswill be true, which is very different.
“What is your ideal situation?” Eli asks. “What does your perfect world look like?”
My breath catches in my throat. Not because I don’t know the answer. Because I do. I’ve imagined it a hundred times. A thousand. I love food and I love restaurants. When I was younger, I dreamed of opening a sleepy little café with Zia Teresa, serving lattes andpettoleto friendly customers. But over the past year, I’ve gotten actual service industry experience at Dreams and a lot of business experience from being at Velvet House and I know what I want. I want to open a proper restaurant. Somewhere that serves the delicious, rustic Italian food Zia Teresa taught me to love. I want to find, decorate, and run a beautiful space where people can come to drink wine, relax, and enjoy life.
In my perfect world, I would work on dinner menus with my chefs while my baby slept in a pretty basket beside me. And throughout the day my men would come in and I could give them slices of continental cake and cups of espresso. And then on special occasions we could close the restaurant down and host dinner parties for our friends and business partners…
But it’s impossible. My men have enemies, and my being alone in an exposed public location much of the time would be too big a risk, let alone if we had children. But in my perfect world, that’s where I am.
Eli gives me a rueful smile. “Are you thinking about your restaurant?”
I’m surprised but I shouldn’t be. I told Adriano about this fantasy months ago. He must have texted the others in the group chat where they exchange football scores and naked photos of me.
