Doc rubs his chin, examining the dancers clustered around. “You know what ladies…”
I reach for his arm, ready to dissuade him from anything too aggressive.
“…look all you want.”
The girls cheer and I feel my cheeks go red. To be honest I don’t mind my friends watching me either. As Doc goes to arrange the music, Kiara climbs out from behind the bar and winks at me. “Get up on stage, girl.”
“You really want to watch me dance?”
“I do. And I can’t promise I won’t abuse the memories later.”
I laugh. “I thought I was too lame for you.”
“You are, but sometimes I’m into that.”
I clamber up on the shiny stage, feeling so much taller it’s ridiculous. Powerful, but vulnerable looking down on all my friends’ faces and the tops of the men’s heads.
“Come on, baby,” Doc urges. “Show me what you got.”
I grab the pole, hook a leg around it and spin. The girls cheer, the men curl into their drinks like dying flowers, and Doc pulls a wad of bills from out of nowhere and starts throwing them on the stage.
“Get your top off, Tits. I wanna see that big rack.”
I ignore him, rolling my half-naked body as I dance through one song, then another.
Doc watches me with an expression torn between hunger and fury, he throws bills and calls out filthy things, but mostly he stares at me like he wants to devour me. When the third song comes on and I’m still wearing as much as I was when I started, he jumps onto the stage. I’m sure he’s either going to rip my clothes off or carry me away to have sex, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he kisses me on the lips.
“Boooooo,” Kiara calls across the bar. “Worst strip show ever.”
Doc flips her off. “You’re so fucking hot,” he snarls at me, sounding angry about it. “As soon as we’re done here, I’m gonna go into my office and get the security footage for the others; they’re gonna blow their loads on sight.”
I laugh, wrapping an arm around his tattooed neck and feeling free and pretty and alive. “Thanks, Doc. This is the best birthday ever.”
“Cool.” He fists my hair. “Now, I’m gonna throw you over my desk like some harassed little secretary and fuck your brains out. Then we’re gonna get pancakes.”
The idea is so sweet, so delightful I almost clap my hands together. “Yay!”
Doc bites my lower lip, his teeth sinking in until it stings. Then he releases me. “You’re the hottest bitch in the world, Tits. You’re everything to me.”
I stare into his clear blue eyes. “I love you, Nico.”
Doc’s jaw stiffens. He fights his body’s reaction, but he can’t hold off for long. He grimaces. “I… Yeah.”
Doc still can’t say he loves me. He did once. Back when we were in Maui, after the contract freeing me from my engagement to Mr. Parker was first signed. He was peeling me fresh orange slices and feeding them to me with squares of dark chocolate, trying to keep my energy up for the marathon sex bouts. A beautiful tropical bird flew overhead, and Doc stared after it like he’d never seen one before. “That feels like a sign. The universe telling me it’s okay to be happy again.”
“The bird?” I asked, a little confused.
“No. You. You’re my salvation, January. I… I love you.”
Hearing that, I almost melted into romantic nothingness. Then Doc got up and didn’t talk to me for three whole days.
I jolt back to the present where Doc is still frowning at me, clearly mad at himself for not sayingI love you.
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “You don’t need to say you love me if you’re not ready.”
He frowns. “I’m a piece of shit.”
