My spine stiffens. What does he mean, ‘defy him?’ But I already know. The night I arrived at Velvet House, I refused to take off my clothes or suck the gun. I didn’t let Eli seduce me in my cage. I didn’t sleep with anyone the night he commanded me to give my virginity to Doc. It didn’t feel like defiance at the time, but it was. My insides glow. I’ve grown so much since I arrived at this house, but even from the beginning, I was stronger than I thought.
“I didn’t mean to defy you,” I tell Eli. “But I’m allowed to control my own body.”
“No, you aren’t.”
“Morelli…” Doc says. “Not to tell you to shut the fuck up, but you’re ruining this titty show,shut the fuck up.”
Eli shoots him a furious look then strides toward me. “You said you wanted to leave, so leave. Get off the table and out of my sight.”
I don’t move. Staring into Eli’s eyes, I know he’s close to breaking. I once sensed his fear that loving someone would mean being left like his father. I just need to prove him wrong. To show him that he doesn’t have to control me to love me.
We can do this, I think.We could really be together. You just have to let me be strong.
“What did you learn from giving me Orchard, Eli?” I ask. “From watching me be kidnapped? I’m braver than you think. I know you want me to give myself to you and I will,I want to. But you have to give yourself to me too.”
He shakes his head. “You’re becoming someone else.”
“That’s what’s supposed to happen when you grow up.”
Eli raises his gaze to the arched ceiling. “This is why I didn’t want you to know how beautiful you are.”
The compliment hits like a slap. “Well, now I know. What are you going to do about it?”
Chapter Fifteen
January Whitehall
Ipart myknees and let Eli and the others see me again. They lean forward and I want to throw my head back and laugh with the glorious freedom of it. I remember my ex-bodyguards shoving boys who smiled at me, my stepmom making me wear brown sweaters, Mr. Parker drooling all over me whenever we were together.
Screw you all, I think.This is my life.
I smile at the men in front of me and rub two fingers through my pussy. “I own this precious, once-in-a-lifetime thing. This tiny flower Mr. Parker spent millions protecting.”
Eli doesn’t even protest at me saying the name.
I stroke myself softly. I hope I’m gleaming in the dim downlights. I hope I look good enough to eat.
“My virginity belongs to me,” I tell them. “And when I offered it to Adriano, he agreed to whatever I wanted, just like you would.”
“You’re right.”
I turn to the man who spoke.
Bobby gives me a wry, admiring smile, the way he did when I solved a tricky equation.
“You’re right, JJ.” He clears his throat. “I, Roberto Bassilotta, would have let you seduce me into taking you to the hospital. And it was only luck that it was Adriano and not me.”
I beam at him. “You mean it?”
“Yup.”
He moves toward me and my pulse hammers in my throat. Bobby is going to be my first. In my head, I know it’s not super important, especially after what Doc and I did in the car, but in my heart, it still feels huge. And maybe it was always meant to be this way. Bobby was the first man I fell for. The first man who made me wish I could choose who I slept with. I kneel on the table and hold out a hand. “Bobby, would you like to be my first?”
Bobby sticks his tongue in his cheek and grins at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as much.”
He takes my hand in his warm callused one.
The others are far from happy.
