“So that’s the truth. Every man has a dark side. Maybe if I’d gone to UCLA, I wouldn’t have met mine, or lived in it as long as I have. But I’m not sorry. I’ve hurt men, I’ve ruined lives and I’ve killed, but I’ve also built a billion-dollar company with men I love, men who are closer to me than any blood brothers could be.”
“Even Doc?”
Bobby doesn’t smile. “Even Doc. It’s rare to meet people who are willing to sacrifice everything they have to keep a person safe, JJ. But I’ve found three. Until you, I’ve had few regrets.”
The morning seems to grow colder, the sky dimming though there are no clouds. I think about the bullet Bobby put in Kurt’s brain the night Velvet House abducted me. “Do you regret killing Kurt?”
“I regret scaring you. I regret you seeing him die, but he was a selfish incompetent asshole.”
“He wasn’t!”
Bobby gives me a stern look. “He let you get abducted then sold you out to save his own skin.”
“I don’t blame him for that.”
“I do,” Bobby’s voice is hard. “I would die before I let something like that happen to you. And I would kill before I let something like that happen to you. Kurt did neither, and I’m glad he’s gone.”
My heart twists. It feels wrong to find such a terrifying promise romantic, but I do.
“January?” Bobby’s voice is rougher than usual. “Have I scared you?”
“No. I guess I just want to believe you’re still a good guy.”
He takes a step toward me. “I can’t tell you whether I’m a good guy. But I wish I hadn’t betrayed your trust. If I could go back and change anything, it would be that.”
I can smell his clean cologne scent, the same one that made me swoon when we were together in the library. I touch my lips, they’re swollen and sensitive. I want to kiss him, but how am I supposed to act on it? Bobby’s so grown up and handsome and I don’t have wine pulsing through my blood the way I did last night with Eli…
“JJ,” Bobby says in his new rough voice. “I know you said no sex, but can I kiss you?”
The bat slips through my fingers, falling with a dull thunk on the grass.
“Do you want that?” he asks. “Because if you don’t, we can just eat and—”
“I want you to kiss me. I want that so badly.”
Bobby tosses away his ball and glove and strides toward me. He puts his hands to my face and kisses me, soft and sweet. His stubble brushes my jaw, a sharp contrast to the tenderness of his lips. My breath hitches as his tongue sweeps my mouth and I press myself against him. He’s already rock-hard beneath his jeans.
“Bobby…” He understands my plea, laying me down so my back is in the grass. He braces his big body over mine. “No one’s around. It’s just you and me.”
That’s all the encouragement I need to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. We grind together on the grass. I rub against him shamelessly, torturing my body with his.
“January,” he pants. “You’re gonna make me take this too far.”
My muscles vibrate in response. I don’t care. I rub harder against him, the chafe of his jeans making me ache. When his hands slide under my T-shirt, I gasp. His fingers are blunt and callused, and I imagine them buried inside me, stroking my pussy the way his erection is stroking between my thighs. “Bobby? Can you…?”
His mouth finds my ear. “You want me to get you there, JJ?”
“Yes. Yes, please.”
He unbuttons my jeans. “You want me to do it with my fingers?”
“Yes!”
He slides his hand down the front of my panties and the restriction of the cotton and my jeans makes it a hundred times hotter. His rough fingerpads brush my pussy, hovering just above my clit. I press my head back against the grass. “Bobby…?”
“That’s it. Say my name.” His fingers move downward, stroking against my soaking entrance. “Jesus, January.”
I whimper, half-proud and half-embarrassed at how wet I am. “Sorry. Is it… too much?”
