“Very good,” Mr. Parker says. “Come here.”
“Me?” I ask, but Emilia is already moving carefully across the limousine. She doesn’t sit beside Mr. Parker, instead she drops to her knees. My stomach churns, sure of what’s going to happen next. Mr. Parker keeps his eyes on me as he unzips his fly. “You like watching?”
I don’t say anything. The blond bodyguard is still staring purposefully out the window. I try to copy his passive gaze. Emilia bends her head toward Mr. Parker’s lap and slurping sounds fill the limousine. My skin crawls as he jerks his head at me. “Look at me, January.”
I ignore him, focusing on the street blurring past the window.
“I saidlook at me,” he says and I hear him cock the gun.
Panic rushes down my back like pine needles and I turn and stare wordlessly at my ex-fiancé. Mr. Parker pushes his fingers through Emilia’s red hair. “Don’t be jealous.”
Bile forms at the back of my throat. Jealous? I was jealous when Eli told me I could never be his wife, when Doc talked about the beautiful dancers in his clubs. Watching this is the furthest I’ve ever been from jealous. I’mrelievedit’s not me being forced to touch him. Relieved and angry. As I watch Mr. Parker violate Emilia, hatred rises up in me, burning like butter in a shallow pan. This horrible man. Why is he acting like this?
“You’re very calm,” Mr. Parker says, slinging an arm along the back of his chair. “Your little nanny’s dead, remember? Don’t you want to talk about it?”
I was crying beside Zia Teresa’s unconscious body in the hospital when two men burst into the hospital room and shoved me aside. One pressed his hand over my eyes but not before I saw the other wrap his fingers around Zia’s throat. The noises she made… the gurgling and the little gasps. Was she awake? Did she know what was happening as it happened? A million pinpricks force their way through my skin, and I wish Adriano had killed me. That his murderous hatred of me had been real and he had taken my life.
“Say something,” Mr. Parker demands. “Unless you want to help Emilia lick my cock?”
I part my dry lips. “Why… why did you kill my Zia?”
He laughs, delighted with the question. “I didn’t kill your stupid Zia. I ordered her dead.”
Tears sting my eyes. “Butwhy?”
Mr. Parker puts a hand on the back of Emilia’s bobbing head. “I told my men to waste your nanny because she was always a cunt to me. Shooting me little looks out of the corners of her eyes whenever I was at your house. Serves her fucking right.”
Heat shimmers through me like the waves above concrete and my hatred burns to black, bitter ash.
“…and you wanted to bring that old bitch onto my staff,” Mr. Parker says. “You must have hinted at it a hundred times, thinking you were so fucking subtle. I was always going to kill her before that happened.”
My chest contracts. So, it is my fault. Because I loved Zia Teresa, I killed her. She’s dead because of me.
How dare you think that!
The accented voice is as clear as if Zia was talking in my ear. I jolt upright.
“What?” Mr. Parker asks.
“Nothing.” I close my eyes, hunting inside myself for the voice.I’m so sorry, Zia. I’m sorry you died because of me.
I was old and asleep. Exactly how I wanted to die. And you donothave permission to insult me by blaming yourself. This mascalzone killed me. And not even with his own hands! He made someone else do it, like the lazy bastardo he is!The Zia in my mind draws a deep, rasping breath.Now, I know this is not a good place to be and I know you’re worried you killed that ugly man, but you need to forget about us and concentrate on saving yourself, understood?
But Zia—
No buts. You can spend forever apologizing, once you’re away from this man. Now, go and focus on that.
I squeeze my eyes tightly. A visual hug.I’ll try, Zia. I love you.
I love you too. Concentrate.
I open my eyes to find Mr. Parker watching. “You really are a moron, aren’t you, January?”
“I guess so,” I say, remembering how nice I thought he was. How I defended him to Eli and Bobby when they kidnapped me. No wonder they looked at me like I was crazy.
Mr. Parker snorts. “You’re dumber than Emilia, and that’s saying something.”
I watch the back of Emilia’s head dip as she sucks his penis. Does she feel as sick and helpless as I do?
