And it hits me, Zachery Parker, the cloud that’s covered us for eighteen years has been blown apart, scattered into insignificant particles. I have a family and a woman I love more than anything and a baby on the way. It’s taken thirty-four years, but I’m here now. I can do anything.Wecan do anything.
I struggle to my feet and take January’s hand.
“I love you,” I tell her, “Everything’s going to be good from here.”
We share a small, painfully sweet smile in the morning sunshine.
Chapter Sixteen
January Whitehall
The contractions ripplethrough me and I breathe through them, letting the pain spike me to my bones. Not resisting.
The midwife, Sienna, pats my forehead with a cool towel. “That’s it. You’re doing so well, January.”
“Thank you,” I manage. I’m scared of what’s coming but I’m ready. I can’t wait to meet the baby. And to not be pregnant anymore. The past two weeks I’ve been struggling to walk, and as nice as the guys have been about helping me, I want to climb the stairs without them acting like I’m a grenade that might go off. Another contraction comes and I breathe in more of the gas offered to me. My head swims pleasantly and I ride out the rest of the pain.
“How are you?” Sienna asks.
“It hurts,” I say but quietly. I can hear my boyfriends pacing outside the birthing suite like wolves and I know if I so much as gesture at the door they’ll burst in, guns drawn to do whatever impossible thing they think will help me give birth. But this is my pregnancy plan, and they can’t come in. Zia Teresa and I often talked about having kids. She was a traditionalist. She thought that men belonged in the waiting room, because no matter how supportive they promised to be, “they wail and panic and get confused by everything and you end up worrying about them instead of focusing on the bambina.”
As soon as I started to get big, I realized she was right. As supportive as the guys were, they also started treating me like I was made of bone china. My sex drive was crazy high but whenever they were inside me, they were stopping every two seconds to ask if I was fine and offering to bring me jasmine tea and masturbate instead.
And not just Bobby or Adriano, men I expected to become all cozy and overprotective. This was Doc and Eli, men who once promised to kill me rather than not get what they wanted from my body. How things change. How people can change.
Eventually, I trained all of them to make love to me the way they had before, but I could still see the terror behind their eyes.
“Don’t worry,” I said a million times a day, I’m strong enough for me and the baby. On this, they seemed to believe me. Maybe because I believed in myself. If I felt like attending yoga and eating green salad, I did. If I felt like ordering six cartons of dumplings and watching trashy TLC shows, I did.
I also met with Mr. Bianchi regularly to discuss breaking up Mr. Parker’s empire and developing He still flirts with me all creepily, but I can tell he respects me too. When I’ve recovered from the birth, I’m going to throw a gala at the hotel.
Another contraction snaps me into the present. I wail loudly as the surges roll through my body like thunder.
“January!” I hear a dull thump and guess Doc’s kicked the door. “You want us in there?”
His request seems to unlock the others.
“Pryntsesa!
“JJ? Are you sure you’re fine?”
“Bella, just say the word.”
“She’s fine,” barks Sienna. She’s sixty-seven and she’s supervised over three thousand births. I requested her on more of Zia Teresa’s advice. “You want the oldest midwife possible. The one who has seen everything. Twice. They will keep you calm and focused.”
Behind the door, the boys fall silent again.
“Idiots,” Sienna grumbles.
“They’re lovely too,” I pant, as my body continues to twist with pain. Sienna moves down me and checks my dilation. I spread my thighs obligingly. Over the past six months, I’ve grown totally used to strangers looking at my flower in a way that would have shocked past me.
“Six centimeters,” she informs me. “You’re close, darling.”
“Good.”
“It’s a shame your mother can’t be here,” she says, matter of factly. “It can be a wonderful moment for both of you.”
“I’m sure,” I say, thinking of Zia. It would be good to have her here with me. As for my other mother figures, one I never met and the other I barely knew.
