“Don’t be an idiot,” she said through her teeth. “Don’t try to make this about what I feel or what I want. This has nothing to do with us—”
“It wasn’t him, Magda.”
A sharp pain shot through her head as she hit the brakes on her thoughts. “What are you talking—”
He changed then, green eyes turning black, gold hair growing and paling to platinum.
Her breath stopped as Endreas gazed down at her.
But it wasn’t Endreas. Not now... and not back at Flor’s house during her Shine.
All this time, something had been itching at the back of her mind, ever since she’d woken with Endreas’s taste on her lips. But it hadn’t been his taste, not the musky honey-sweet coolness, but something warmer and smokier. And from the brume of those tangled memories a flash of Endreas’s back appeared, taut and lean and unblemished... no tree-and-dragon tattoo.
She should’ve seen it before, realized it earlier, but the haze of the Shine had turned everything dream-like, and besides, she had done her best to put it all out of her mind entirely. Because of Kaelan... she’d known it would hurt him, except... it had been him.
She burned all over, digging her hands into the heavy quilt to keep them from quaking.
“How—”
“Damion and Meer tied me up, like you wanted,” he said, slowly dissolving back into himself again. “But I called Kirk and he released me. He created an illusion, even Meer believed.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to be with you—”
“No. Why change? Why not come as yourself? Why did you come as him? I was in my Shine, it wouldn’t have—”
“Because you love him, and I wanted that.”
She wanted to spring up and punch him, but didn’t have the strength. The tightness in her chest grew and grew, tears bulging in her eyes. The best she could do to appease her rage was to look away.
“And I was angry—” he went on.
Her head snapped around, opening up the pain in her neck anew. “You were angry?”
“He wants me dead, Magda. My whole family wants it. And you know it. And you still wanted him. You still came right to him. I wanted to know what you would do. If you would even try to resist, but you didn’t—”
Her teeth ached from being clenched so hard. “I was in my Shine.”
“Yet you had the presence of mind to send Meer and Damion to tie me up.”
She forced herself up onto her elbows. Though it hurt like dying all over again, fury fueled her. “It would have been you. If you had shown up at the moment, as yourself, it would’ve been the same.”
“You think that makes me feel better?”
“I don’t care how you feel!” Her hands balled tightly in the quilt. “Just like you didn’t care how I would feel when you played your twisted little imp prank on me. You made me think I’d slept with Endreas! Do you know what that did to me?”
He slammed his hands down on either side of her, forcing her to fall back against the pillow, pushing his face down into hers.
“Yes, my mistress. I know just what it did to you. Just how much you enjoyed it. Just how good you felt when you thought it was him,” he hissed. “But it wasn’t him. It was me. And I wasn’t happy deceiving you. I wanted to tell you the truth, but you were perfectly happy taking him and... I just wanted you. I couldn’t think about anything else while it was happening. When it was over...” He eased back, but she continued to glare after him. “I wondered if you would tell me what happened, but you didn’t. And I began to worry I couldn’t trust you.”
Her voice trembled. “You couldn’t trust me? After what you did? How can you even—” She pushed up again. “I did tell you. I told you that I slept with Endreas. And you didn’t say anything—”
“I’m telling you now.”
She shook her head, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t believe this.”
He seized her wrists and pushed them away from her face and back against the pillow, leaning over her again.
