“I can’t stop you from feeling whatever you feel. But you can’t stop me either.”
“Kaelan, please, don’t.”
“If I don’t, I will always live in fear of being discovered.”
Pain wrenched through her. “Vengeance won’t bring you peace.”
“I didn’t start this—”
“That’s right. As of now you’re innocent. They’re the guilty ones. Endreas has shown who he really is by doing nothing to help you, to protect you, his own brother. Maybe the Rae I was before wouldn’t have cared. ButIdo. I don’t want to be that heartless noble again, the one who puts her own advancement above her friends, above what’s right.”
“The prophecy—”
She twisted to glare at him. “Fuck the prophecy.”
His brow arched. “That’s not how you used that word before.”
“It’s a very versatile word,” she said. “Damn it, Kaelan. Don’t do this. Please, I am begging you.”
His gaze remained fixed on the horizon. “I’ve made my decision. After you’ve vied for Radiant, I’ll join Python and the Resistance.”
She turned her back to him again.
“This is why I didn’t tell you,” he said. “I knew you’d be angry.”
“I’m not angry. I’m disappointed. You have no idea what you’re getting into.”
“I’ve been meeting with Kirk.”
She twisted again. “What? When?”
“They have greater resources than you realize,” he said. “I’ll be safe with them, until the time comes.”
“You didn’t tell me?”
“I’m telling you now.”
Her face burned. “And here I thought I could trust you.” She turned again, wishing he had let her fall asleep earlier. Now her ears were ringing and her head pounding and her teeth grinding.
“You can help me, help the Resistance,” he said. “They want you too. They’ll support you if you vie for the Crown.”
“Right. So there can be war with the King.” She shook her head. “I won’t be Python’s puppet, or Endreas’s. Is this why you’re helping me? You want me to succeed because you think I’ll help you start your war?”
“No,” he said. “I decided to help you long before any of this. But this is something I have to do, with or without you.”
“Then it will be without me.”
After that, neither of them spoke.
She squeezed her eyes shut against the furious barrage of tears attempting to break through. The chill that had fled her returned, seeping deeper, down into her chest.
Though Kaelan was right behind her, she felt as though she had lost him all over again.
THEY CAMPED TWO NIGHTS.
On the third day, the air began to thin and cool, the sky above deepening to mountain blue, pines eating up the deciduous trees. The flat white scars of roads ducked in and out of view, growing as numerous as the silver streams and steel rivers. More rooftops appeared. Twisted fingers of smoke broke from chimneys and groped at them as they neared one of the few true urban centers in the Lands.
Though she was burrowed deep against Kaelan for warmth, they had spoken only in glancing words.
