Her righteous anger faltered.
“Have you been communicating with him? Or maybe that thing is his spy.” Kaelan pointed behind her at the semargl.
Gur bared his teeth, tail lashing.
“I don’t know how he found us,” she said, measuring her tone. “How do you find where you’re going in the Shadow Realms?”
He frowned, righteousness stalling out.
“I know you hate him,” she said, holding up her hands, placating, “and with good reason. Don’t you think that’s part of the reason I hate him too? That he can be so easily dismissive of his own brother’s life?”
“I find places in the Shadow Realms, not people,” he grumbled.
“Well, maybe he can find people and not places,” she shot back. “You two aren’t identical if you hadn’t noticed.”
“No, he’s manipulative and cavalier and domineering, just like Cae was, right?”
Her hands balled into fists. “He is nothing like Cae.”
He shook his head as if dismissing her and it was all she could do not to break his nose.
“You knew,” he said softly, “didn’t you? About the heart-place? Why didn’t you say something?”
“I didn’t know anything. Other than what Ilene said while you were dying,”—she lofted a brow—“but I wasn’t paying much attention to her at the time.”
He blew out a heavy breath. “What does it mean?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. You’re the one who did it.”
“I was panicking. I was dying,” he said, kneading his fist into his palm. “I was looking for anything to hold on to—”
“And foolish me, I was there to be held. So now I have to worry that if you die, I’ll go mad.” Which was exactly what had started to happen when he had died, she saw that now.
“And what happens to me if you die?” he asked.
“You think twice about being such an imp-hole?”
He prowled to the back of the cave. “Is this why...?” He half-turned towards her. “I need to know more about what a heart-place is. How it works.”
“You and me both, but we have bigger issues to deal with at the moment.”
“Do we?” he asked. “Ever since I came back from the dead, I’ve been struggling.”
“We’ve all been struggling.”
“I know,” he snapped and then more calmly, “I know. But everything keeps getting worse, and there’s never time to think. I feel like... I need to get away from you.”
She hadn’t expected anything he said to hurt her, yet it did. Maybe it had something to do with the bit of his heart he’d stowed away inside of her.
Keeping her tone cool, she said, “I told you that you don’t have to—”
“Not forever,” he said. “I just wish there was time to breathe. We’re always running or flying or fighting. When I start to think I’ve got a grasp on the situation something like this happens, and then I’m right back where I started.”
“Nothing’s changed. You knew I had feelings for Endreas. So what? I have feelings for lots of things, but that doesn’t change what I’m going to do. And as far as I can see, I’m the one who’s bound to suffer because you gave me a piece of your heart. I was already worried you would die—again. But now I understand why it affected me the way it did. Endreas was right. If you die, I’ll go mad. The last time, I was ready to hunt down the King and kill him myself. And I would’ve tried.Thatis madness. You did something to me that I didn’t ask for. And now it’s inside of me, like a bomb waiting to—”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
