“Wow. Look at you!” Brendan said as he arrived to pick me up for… whatever it was supposed to be.
“And look at you!” I said. He had on pressed jeans and a blue cashmere sweater, loafers, no socks, and he was tan.
“Your very own beach bum,” he said, and winked.
“You look great.”
“It’s the loafers,” he quipped.
We had dinner on the dockside terrace of the French Country Inn, with a candle sputtering on the table between us and the lake bumping up against the pilings. We were still catching up over braised breast of duckling and wild rice when Brendan said a few words about his folks and asked about mine. I told him that neither of my parents was still alive. “It’s just Sam and me,” I said.
“I’m sorry about your folks. And everything else that’s happened to you.”
“It’s okay. Anyway, here we are on the lake again.”
By the time coffee was served, we had moved on to lighter subjects. We joked and laughed and were still so in sync, it surprised me a lot. I had expected dead spots in the conversation, but there hadn’t been many. When they happened, it was mostly me being too guarded.
Then the dinner was over and it was time to go home. That’s when I realized, or maybe admitted to myself, that Iwason a date. The best date I’d had in quite a while, actually.
Thirty-two
IT CERTAINLYhadn’t been planned that way, but Brendan and I had been together nearly the whole day. And now there was an awkward moment at the front door. We were standing close enough that I could smell the cologne he used.I need to stop this nonsense right now,I told myself.For both of our sakes.
I caught my breath as that notion flashed through my mind. Then I put the brakes on any fantasy that could lead to the kind of trouble I couldn’t handle. I stepped back away from Brendan.
“Well, I’d ask you in for coffee,” I said, “but I should start writing my column for tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Brendan said. But then he sat down on the porch steps, and he showed no sign of leaving.
“Come swimming with me, or just sit out here and shoot the breeze for a little while more. Anything you want. Just don’t work tonight. You don’t need to work. Come on, Jenny. Loosen up.”
The wordsJenny, loosen upstung a little. But I was also struck by the choice of words. Sam had said almost the same thing in one of her letters.
“Okay,” I said. “But you can’t ever call me ‘Jenny.’ Danny called me Jenny.”
“I’m sorry. So talk to me, Scout. You’ve hardly talked about him at all.”
“Sometime I will. Maybe. But not tonight,” I said. “I’ll talk about Danny when I’m ready.” Danny and other things.
He seemed confused, or troubled.
I settled down on the porch steps beside Brendan. “What?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I just wanted to tell somebody that I quit my job,” Brendan finally said, pulling on his lower lip. “I quit today.”
My head rocked back a little. “You quit your job? Why? What happened, Brendan?”
“Nothing too dramatic. I’ve been looking at shadows on sheets of plastic for too long. I was thinking it’s time to get a few priorities straight,” he said. Then he gave me a dead-on look that grabbed and held me.
I glanced away reflexively. The moonlight cast a pale glow over the lake. Peepers and crickets chirped in the bushes. We were sitting very close to each other. Too close.
“I really have to go in,” I said. I stood up from the porch steps. “Thanks for the day. It was fun.”
Brendan stood, too. He was physically imposing, and hewashandsome. He leaned in and kissed my forehead, which was oddly nice. Then he gave me his best smile. “Good night, Jennifer. I had a good time, too.”
Soon I was in my bed, the same one I’d slept in for years at the lake. A cup of spearmint tea was on the night table. I stared at the ceiling, and some strange, conflicting thoughts swirled in my head.Brendan and I had a nice night,I thought.And that’s the end of it. Why? Because it is, that’s why.
I opened another letter from Sam.
