MALCOLM
Welcome to the show.
OFF SCREEN: JEMMA scrolls through the episode until WILLIE appears.
WILLIE stops in front of the two-bedroom red brick house he bought at auction and looks it up and down.
CUT TO WILLIE and MALCOLM next to a brick chimney breast, a small electric fire nestled within it.
MALCOLM
I hear this is your thirteenth rental property – well done. Does that mean you have a roster of contractors who’ll do the renovation?
WILLIE
I’m fairly knowledgeable, having done so many of these renovations. I’m confident I won’t need any outside assistance.
MALCOLM
Even with the mould issue?
CUT TO a shot of pink bubbling mould next to the kitchen sink.
WILLIE
Even with the mould issue.
MALCOLM
And what about the garden in the front?
CUT TO a shot of a beautiful garden filled with mature flowerbeds which have overgrown slightly.
WILLIE
Parking is at a premium in this street so I’ll be ripping all that out and creating a driveway.
MALCOLM
So no green space at all in the front?
WILLIE
I think parking is more of a concern. It’ll mean there’s no maintenance needed for the front garden, which is something I’ve noticed tenants don’t always keep on top of as much as I’d like. This solution eliminates two problems in one.
CUT TO MALCOLM in the kitchen.
MALCOLM
They say thirteen is unlucky for some. Will that prove the case for Willie? Go and make yourself a cup of tea and come back and find out later in the show.
OFF SCREEN: JEMMA tap tap taps on the skip-ahead-ten-seconds button on her screen until she lands on WILLIE’s house.
The exterior, with the mass of grass and weeds in the garden, is shown. There’s a swish sound and the old house is transformed, with grey gravel where grass used to be and a matching grey front door.
MALCOLM (VO)
Wow! What a difference. It looks very smart from the outside, but what about the inside?
