The night Colton had opened up to me about his dad’s lack of faith in him was the night I lay awake in my bunk, feeling the tectonic plates of my mind reconfigure themselves into a new landscape. We weren’t so different after all, he and I. We’ve both spent so much of our lives trying to be loved by a parent, only to be denied in the ways that mattered. I knew that heartache.
For so long, all I wanted was for Mama to want me, and if not my mama, then at least my aunt. But they’d both turned away from me, leaving me to wonder what I’d done wrong. Yet, Colton, who I am undoubtedly my worst self with, is still here. We fight and argue, yes, but more often than not, I enjoy it, knowing that I can be snarky Missy and he’s still going to be there—even if I ruin his chance at Student Council President or jump into the ocean when I don’t agree with him. He sees me at my worst, but he hasn’t abandoned me yet. And I have every reason to be thankful for that, even if he’s still a pain in my backside.
My fingers stroke the lucky seashell in my pocket—the same pocket I’d stashed it in when I ran from the interview set andonto the beach. I remember how Colton had run after me. He’d been so gentle, soft in ways I’d never seen him before. At first, I’d thought it was for the sake of our strategy, but then he’d held me, protecting me from the camera operators until I could finally compose myself.
“We’ll have to do that again,” Bill says, snapping me from my mental replay of Colton with his arms around me.
“Yes, maybe tonight.” Maria turns from Bill to me. “Have you been to the north side of the island yet?” she asks as she stacks her empty mussel shells on top of each other and places them by the fire.
“I haven’t,” I say.
“Oh, you’re missing out. Bill and I took a little stroll over there a couple nights ago, and it was incredible. There were all these beautiful little tide pools, and the stars were reflecting off them—it was bello.”
“That sounds dreamy,” I say, mentally painting the image.
“Tide pools?” Tearjerker chimes in. Meanwhile, Heartbreaker stands up and heads down to the ocean, apparently bored with the conversation.
“Yes, dozens of them,” Maria says.
“Did you see any sea life in the tide pools?” Tearjerker perks up like a Labrador in a tennis ball store.
“No, it was too dark, unfortunately.” Maria frowns.
“Oh, well, I’d love to go with you guys next time. I was a marine biology major in college. I ended up going into sales, but I’ve always had a passion for exploring tide pools.”
A soft spot for tide pools? Since when does Tearjerker have a personality? Somehow this new fact makes him seem less like the strategic butthead I know and more like someone with a beating heart.
“Marine biology? That’s neat. Well then, we’ll definitely have to take you over there sometime,” Maria says.
Tearjerker smiles, making it evident how he’s managed to jerk so many tears in his lifetime.
When Bill and Maria excuse themselves to get in a mid-morning catnap, Tearjerker and I are left alone with nothing but a dying fire between us. I take this awkward moment to scan once more for Colton, but in the few seconds my eyes are turned away, Tearjerker plants himself right next to me, making the dead-tree bench shift under his added weight.
“Hey,” he says in a friendly enough tone, but his body is too close to mine.
Uneasy, I subtly scoot a few inches down the tree trunk.
“Hi,” I say back, telling myself that some people’s personal bubbles are smaller than others and that it’s not that weird that he’s this close.
“So, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about the second Mayday Challenge.”
The second Mayday Challenge? I think back, trying to remember if I had any interaction with him at all during the coconut challenge, but I can’t remember him.
I narrow my eyes, confused. “The second Mayday Challenge?”
“Heartbreaker and Legend—they threw some of your team’s coconuts under some bushes. I told them not to do it, but then, under the pressure of the challenge, they went ahead. I love my teammate, but he’s not exactly the most levelheaded when it comes time for competition, and apparently, neither is Legend.”
I look away and toward the shore, spotting Heartbreaker with his feet in the water. When I turn back, I find Tearjerker has bridged the gap between us once more. I look down, noting that his thigh is almost pressed against mine, and his unbandaged hand is resting on the knee closest to me. He makes small talk, but I can’t shake the feeling that he wants to get even closer to me, or rather to my backpack that is strapped around my ankle.Is he trying to get something from my backpack or maybe put something in?
Feeling increasingly uneasy, I, once again, scoot over, this time making it clear that I am not comfortable with his nearness. Fortunately, he gets the hint and stands up, walking over to a coconut shell full of water and dousing the dying fire.
“Well, see you around.” With a small wave, he leaves to join Heartbreaker, and I watch him walk away, questioning his motives.
While his words were kind enough and his actions likely harmless, I still check my backpack to see if he’s taken anything or left something in there. To my surprise, I find nothing’s been tampered with, and Tearjerker was simply being friendly. I make a mental note to be less stiff in our next conversation. I swear, my mind gets less trusting of people and their motives the longer I’m on this island.
“Hey, Missy.”
I feel a delightful zing hearing my name in Colton’s familiar voice.
