For one brief moment, I imagine Paige and me in California together, just like we planned so many years ago. I imagine uswaking up early and strolling the beach. I imagine us going to the trendy restaurants she loves. I imagine teaching her how to surf. The compilation of images goes on and on, and the rightness of what I imagine is so perfect that I nearly forget why I’ve been resistant to it this whole time.
But sure enough, that familiar guilt tugs at my conscience, pulling me out of my elusive daydream.Mom.I can’t leave Mom.She would be alone.
But no… No, she wouldn’t. Mom wouldn't be alone. Dan would be here with her.
Dan, who takes such good care of my mom, he’s practically rendered me completely useless these past couple weeks. Dan’s got a sixth sense where my mom’s health is concerned. He doesn’t smother her but is just there, quietly anticipating her needs in a way I wish I had learned years ago. If things work out for Dan and Mom, I wonder if Mom will ever need me again.
That thought barrels into me like a breakaway train. What if Mom really doesn’t need me around? If she has Dan here to check in on her and make sure she is looked after, then maybe… I let a foreign idea simmer and grow inside me until it fans out, spreading hope through my body like someone injected a stream of sunshine straight into my veins. This time, when I picture Paige’s and my future, I’m not as filled with anxiety; instead, the joy this image creates fills me inside, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
“Are you okay?” Paige looks at me curiously.
“Yes, I am definitely okay,” I say, still stunned by this epiphany.
“I’m sorry for not telling you.” She looks up at me with sincere green eyes.
“It’s okay. I’m just going to start calling you ‘babe’ from now on,” I say, remembering how much she hates it.
Paige scowls at me, and I smile.
“Don’t you dare,” she says.
“C’mon, babe.” I reach out my hand to take hers, but she scoops up her mound of blankets and strides away with a look of defiance.
I love this girl.
I’m about to say as much when I stop myself. I love Paige—no question about that—but before I say the words, I want to be positive I can give her the future she deserves. A future I’m just starting to believe is possible.
For that to happen, however, I need to have a long discussion with my business partner, Rob.
Chapter 29
PAIGE
“How is Rob?” I ask Jordan after he tells me a little about his longer-than-usual work day. We’re sitting on the edge of a concrete water fountain just outside a Red Robin restaurant on Jordan’s twenty-fourth birthday. The sky is a myriad of oranges and pinks as the sun slips away, and Jordan entwines his fingers in mine as we wait for Mrs. Miller and Dan to show up.
“Rob’s doing much better after today,” Jordan says.
“Why, what happened today?” I ask.
Jordan’s smile is soft. “We had a serious discussion about the future of the company.”
The future of the company?The way Jordan says it almost sounds like the wordchange. But I know Jordan, and changeisn’t something he encounters lightly. If ever. At least not these days. My interest is thoroughly piqued. I’m about to ask what exactly he means byThe Future of the Companywhen Dan and Mrs. Miller walk up.
“Hello, you two,” Mrs. Miller says as she and Dan approach us hand in hand.
In the two weeks since the gala, I haven’t seen Mrs. Miller. And I have a sneaking suspicion that Dan has everything to do with that.
Mrs. Miller embraces Jordan, wishing him a happy birthday with a kiss on the cheek, then she hugs me next. I’m not sure if I’m imagining it, but her hug seems more firm than usual, more all-encompassing. She doesn’t let go for a long while, and when she pulls back, she looks at me with so much depth and warmth that I feel I might choke on the emotion that wells in my throat.
“I’m so glad you two finally figured things out,” she says.
Heat presses against my eyes as I feel the happy tears start to form. “I am, too.” But the words are no match for the absolute acceptance I feel from Mrs. Miller and the way she’s looking at me. Because she’s looking at me like…like a mom looks at her daughter.
I couldn’t imagine a world more perfect than being a part of her family.
“What’s good here, Jordan?” Dan asks after patting Jordan on the back.
Jordan looks affronted. Red Robin is Jordan’s birthday restaurant of choice and has been since the boy got teeth. “You’ve never been to Red Robin? Dan, let me introduce you to the world of Clucks and Fries and the best Oreo milkshakes.”
