Finlay made her feel things she had never felt before. Not just when they were engaging in pleasurable acts. The way her heart would race when she saw him, the way he could make her laugh by just being himself. How she could be so happy and so angry athim at the same time. She doubted anyone would ever make her feel like that ever again.
Ava nodded as if she could read her sister’s thoughts. “I was worried something like this might happen. I cannae help but feel like I am partially to blame.”
Thalia sat up straight in surprise. “Why would ye say that?”
Ava sighed. “I feel like I was too protective of ye. I tried too hard to shield ye from everything, including Finlay. Maybe if I hadnae kept the two of ye apart for so long, things could have been different.”
“Ye couldnae have ken about us,” Thalia argued.
“Nay,” Ava agreed. “But I did have me suspicions. Which is why I wanted ye to stay away from him in the first place. If he werenae so set on remainin’ unwed, ye two would be perfect for each other.”
“Ye think so?”
“Aye, I ken it.”
Thalia took a shaky breath. She knew that her sister was trying to reassure her, and it did a little, but hearing the confirmation that she approved of them being together only made her frustration grow. It simmered within her, like a pot left to sit too long over a fire.
She stood and began to pace the floor by the bed.
“Damn him,” she hissed. “Damn him! I’ll never forgive him.”
“Thalia?” Ava climbed out of bed. “I’m sorry, did I say the wrong thing?”
“Nay, I’m just…” Thalia paused in her pacing, stomping her foot in anger. “I’m so mad at him! I daenae ken why he doesnae trust himself enough to be with me, why he thinks he’ll hurt me or change his mind. Doesnae he ken that he’s hurtin’ me now? Doesnae he care about that? Or does he think I could just forget about all of it?”
Her breath came quicker, and her lungs burned as if there weren’t enough air to fill them. She wanted to scream, to cry, to break something.
Her sister stood silently in front of her, as if she knew that Thalia just needed to get it all out. She wrapped her arms around herself, willing her body to calm down again. The pressure helped, and her breathing slowed.
“As if I could just forget it all,” she continued, her voice lowering to a whisper. Regret filled her as she questioned her decision to leave again. “Do ye think I made the right choice?”
Ava frowned. “I daenae ken. I trust that ye made the right choice for yerself, and I do agree that if ye werenae happy, ye shouldnaehave stayed. I wish ye could feel better about yer decision, but I suspect that will come with time.”
Aye, only time will tell now.
Thalia felt tears prick her eyes again, and she took a deep, steadying breath. “I think I love him, Ava.”
Ava crossed the room to put her hands on Thalia’s shoulders. She pressed a kiss to her forehead, the action comforting.
“He’s a fool to let ye go,” she huffed.
Thalia chuckled. “Aye. The biggest dobber ye’ve ever seen.”
Ava giggled, too. “Maybe one day he’ll realize what he’s lost. But ye will have already found something or someone better.”
“Ye think so?”
“I ken it.”
The two women embraced tightly, and Thalia buried her face in her sister’s hair. “Thank ye, Ava.”
“I love ye so much,” Ava whispered back.
Thalia knew that she still had people who cared about her. People who loved her. She could survive without Finlay’s love,and she would. All she needed was time to heal, and to keep him as far away from her as possible.
The one thing Thalia was not looking forward to was the carriage ride home with her uncle. Most of her stuff had been packed once she had arrived at MacAinsley Castle, so she hadn’t been able to delay the trip for very long.
The afternoon sun hung high in the sky, and the heat bore down on her with an unsympathetic relentlessness. Everyone from MacCabe Castle had gathered outside to see her off, which was a much nicer goodbye than her previous one. The last time she had left the castle, she had been in a rush, and she hadn’t even thought to say goodbye since she had assumed she would return.
