“Thalia.” He stepped forward.
He didn’t know if he was going to grab her or hold her, but she stepped back from him, her back hitting the desk. It wobbled on its legs, and she turned away from him.
“I daenae wish to make this any harder than it already is,” she muttered to the floor. “But I’ve finally accepted what ye’ve been tryin’ to convince me of this entire time. That this betrothal wasa mistake. I… I want to say again how much I am grateful to ye for yer protection, and for yer kindness. I ken I willnae be able to repay ye properly.”
“Ye daenae need to repay me for anything,” Finlay said. The words sounded foreign to his own ears. It was not what he really wanted to say, but he did not have the courage to say it out loud. “What brought on this sudden… revelation?”
“We daenae want the same things for this betrothal,” she explained. “And I cannae stay here any longer. Ye say that being around me is hard. Well, it’s hard for me, too! I cannae keep seein’ ye day in and day out and nae be able to be with ye. ‘Tis its own kind of torture.”
“Thalia…” He swallowed. “Ye ken who I was when ye agreed to this betrothal.”
“Aye, I thought I did,” she relented, turning her face up to his. Her eyes shone in the candlelight, but there were no tears on her cheeks. “But I cannae be around ye when ye want me one moment, and then ye push me away the next. Ye’re followin’ so blindly some decision that ye made years ago to be a rake.”
He let out an unamused chuckle as he stepped towards her again. This time, she held her ground. “Ye think I made that decision lightly? Nay, I swore I would never marry so that I would never do to a woman what was done to me sister. I couldnae bear it.”
“Ye think ye would do that to me? Is that why ye keep shutting me out?” she asked.
“Nay.” He shook his head. “I would never do that to ye, because I wouldnae let ye fall in love with me.”
She glared at him, her face flushing. “Who said anything about fallin’ in love with ye anyway?”
“Maybe nae intentionally, but I’d never risk it,” he explained.
She shook her head, pushing past him as she paced the room. “Still, I cannae be here anymore. I only get more and more confused by the day, and I daenae want to feel like this any longer.” She paused, turning back towards him as she clenched her fists into her skirts. “I’m going back to me uncle.”
“What?” He went to her again, grabbing her roughly by the shoulders. “After everythin’ ye did, ye’re just going to go back there? He’ll marry ye off. Marry ye off tohim.”
Finlay could not even utter the bastard’s name. The thought of her being sold off to that man made the blood in his veins boil.
She pushed him off, determination coloring her features. “I’ll take care of it.”
“He tried to have ye kidnapped,” he growled.
“Then I’ll tell me uncle that and escape it!” she snapped.
She was angry now, too. They both were. Neither was ready to back down.
“Ye really think it will be that easy?” he scoffed. “That man willnae back down without a fight, especially if he kens ye’re free again. Ye daenae ken what he’s been up to, or what he has planned?—”
“I’ll take me chances,” she interrupted.
He stared at her. His anger fizzled when he realized that she was serious.
“Ye would really risk marriage to him rather than stay here?” he asked, his voice quieter now.
She noticed the change in it too, and her shoulders dropped as she realized what she was implying. That it was better to take the risk with a known threat than to spend another day in this castle with him.
“It might nae come to that,” she tried. “Perhaps Uncle Archibald might just let me be a healer.”
He did not say that he did not think that was likely. She had made her feelings quite clear, and he would not try to dissuade her again.
“I thought we had a deal,” he said.
“Ye didnae keep yer word either,” she shot back.
They stared at each other, and Finlay scrambled for something to say. If he could just find the right words, maybe he could convince her to stay. They did not come to him.
Thalia sighed, and she went back to her desk to finish what she had been working on before he barged in.
