He smiled at that, pride filling him as he pictured it. “Aye, I bet with ye as her teacher, she will make a fine one.”
“Such a flatterer,” she teased, and the smile she gave him only stoked his desire further.
He wanted her as much as he had wanted her yesterday, maybe more. Because now he knew what he was missing.
He swallowed hard. He couldn’t have her. It wouldn’t be possible.
If he wanted to, he could have her. Thalia had made it clear that she was interested, and if he acted on his impulses, then she would be his and his alone. But he did not trust that he would be hers alone.
He did not believe that he was the sort of man who could truly give away his heart, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Like his sister had been hurt.
“I had better get back to trainin’. Me men have a lot they still need to work on,” he said quickly.
Thalia’s face fell in disappointment, and it took all of his control to get the next words out.
“We’ll go to Inverness tomorrow to shop for a gown. Perhaps ye should be getting ready for it,” he suggested.
“Aye,” she replied in a quiet voice.
She wasn’t looking at him anymore. Her gaze had gone back to the flowers.
As it should.
That didn’t stop the disappointment that curled in his stomach.
“I’ll see ye tomorrow.”
With that, he turned and went back to the training grounds.
He stalked past the rest of his men, making straight for the weapons tables and picking up his sword again. He was angry, and frustrated at himself and the predicament he had placedhimself in. It must have been evident on his face, because his men gave him a wide berth.
He charged at one of the straw dummies. He slashed at it, pouring all of his feelings into that one swing. The head flew off and rolled away towards the stables.
He panted with exertion, wiping his hand across his forehead to remove the sweat that had gathered there.
“Ye doin’ all right, me Laird?” Peter asked from behind him.
Peter was the only one brave enough to approach him like this.
“Fine,” Finlay spat.
He turned, noticing that the rest of the men had ceased their training to also gauge what had made their Laird so angry.
“Did I say ye could stop?” he barked, and the men quickly returned to their training.
Peter let out a heavy breath. “Just try nae to behead all of the dummies, me Laird?”
Finlay gave a curt nod, but did not reply. He turned his sword towards the next dummy and slashed at it.
He spent the rest of the day on the training grounds and only moved inside once the sun had fully set. He spent the night in his study, going over taxes and requests from the villagers under his protection.
He did not go down to dinner and instead had a maid fetch him a plate. He could not face Thalia now, not when he was not certain he could be fully in control of himself.
As the candles grew smaller, Finlay finally decided he should get a good night’s rest. Or try to, at least.
He stretched as he stood, his long hours on the training grounds making his muscles tight and sore. It had felt good to let loose a little, but he did not want to make that a daily occurrence. His body would not be happy about that.
He cleared up his desk and blew out the candles. Darkness swallowed the room, but he knew it well enough to make it to the door without any issue.
