I don’t want to do this.
My heart is being ripped out of my chest.
You’ll always own me.
Don’t let the ice crack beneath your feet.
It’s going to be okay.
“We’re done.”
I don’t wait around to see her reaction, and I don’t wait for her to say anything, I just walk out of the house. Part of me wants to turn around and explain everything to her, but Claire’s story is not mine to tell.
I love Sasha, but if she can’t understand that I wouldn’t be leaving unless it was serious, then she doesn’t deserve to understand at all.
twenty-four
DAVIS
Finding Claire isn’t the problem, it’s trying to hide the fact that I know where she is. It only took me two stops before I landed on the right bar, and it wasn’t hard to spot her in the crowd of people.
Claire doesn’t normally use alcohol as a coping mechanism, she likes to feel her feelings, but today isn’t anormalday.
She’s dancing on the bar-top when I walk in, beer in hand, and singing her heart out to whatever rock song the live band is playing. Men stand all around her, cheering her on, and pawing at her like she’s a toy.
I lean against a wall and observe for a while, keeping an eye on her from afar. Part of me is selfish for wanting this moment, wanting to be the only one she can confide in… while the other part of me is doing it for everyone else’s well-being. If Lucas were here, he would rip her off that bar-top and drag her out kicking and screaming, but I know Claire needs to get this out of her system.
A flash of blonde gets my attention, my eyes shift to the opposite side of the room, only to find Steph sitting in a booth not too far away.
My feet carry me over to her, and before I even have the chance to speak, she pats the seat next to her, “better sit down, it’s gonna be a long night.”
“So you know?” I ask, taking the seat beside her.
A dry laugh leaves her lips, “of course I know. I just didn’t know thatyouknew.”
Damn, and here I am thinking I’m special.
“The first year she pulled this shit, I had no idea. She came into our class looking hungover as hell and told me to shut it the second I opened my mouth.” She throws a lock of hair over her shoulder, keeping her eyes on Claire as she speaks. “The year after that, I went out with her, still didn’t know what the day was, I just thought she was finally letting loose. She got so drunk I was afraid she was going to get alcohol poisoning, almost called an ambulance on her ass when I found her hung over a toilet.”
The thought of Claire getting so wasted sets me on edge. She shouldn’t have had to go through that alone.
“I was shitting my pants when I took her back to Tony’s. When I walked in with her draped over my shoulder, I was trying my best to stay as quiet as possible, but the old man was waiting for us. He surprised me when he didn’t say anything, surprised me even more when he lookedsad, not angry.”
My gaze drifts from her to Claire. She throws her head back and chugs her beer, spilling some down her chin and onto her white shirt. Every guy goes crazy when they see the black lace bra through the wet fabric.
There are some people who are effortlessly beautiful, and Claire Taylor is one of them.
“The next morning I woke up before she did, went down to the kitchen to get some coffee and found him sitting at the table, waiting for me. I was expecting a huge speech about how stupid we were, how we shouldn’t have gotten that out of control, but instead he told me all about the day Claire decided she wasn’t good enough anymore.”
I know that feeling. It doesn’t take much to snap into that headspace, but I try to keep myself away from anything that puts me there.
My Little Pixie isn’t around anymore to drag me out of the darkness, I have to learn to do it on my own.
“You know Chris found her, right?” She asks, cocking her head in my direction. I nod, and she looks up to the ceiling. “I can’t even imagine the fear he felt in that moment.”
Sighing, I rub my hands up and down my thighs. “Probably the same kind you’d feel if you ever found someone you cared about half dead.” Something flashes in her eyes, like guilt or regret, but I don’t press her on the matter. We may be friends, but I’m not the person she opens up to.
Claire is good, probably too good for the rest of us, but we keep her anyway because we’re selfish. I don’t think any of us can live without her anymore.
