“I appreciate the booze, but why are you in such a hurry to get me drunk?”
She looks over my shoulder, “cause these girls look like they’re going to eat you alive and if we’re going to make it through the night we’re gonna need some in our system.”
I guess she isn’t as unaware as I thought.
Although, I can’t really argue with her. I donotwant to be dealing with any of this sober, so I tip the bottle back and take a massive gulp.
We hop onto the counters, sitting and observing the people around us. Parties are fun, but when you feel like no one wants you there —even though this is my fucking house— sitting in the corner is the safest option. My eyes catch on Lucas, he’s thriving in all of this. He’s smiling and laughing while talking to everyone who surrounds him. He’s made for this, everyone loves him and he loves the attention. He’s popular and everyone is fighting for a second of his time.
He belongs here, I don’t.
“I’m gonna go dance!” Steph shouts over the music. I nod my head and motion for her to go ahead, “aren’t you coming?”
“Nope, I’m gonna hang here for a little while longer.”
“Promise you won’t sit and sulk on this counter all night?”
I give her a tight smile, “I promise.” Steph runs off, and part of me feels guilty for kind of lying to her. I’m not gonna to sit here all night, but Iwillbe going up to my room, trying to ignore the pit in my stomach.
Maybe I should go tell Lucas that I’m leaving, he’ll worry if he can’t find me. I place the bottle of rum on the counter and head towards him, hoping he’ll let me go in peace.
He’s in the middle of a conversation right now, and while I know he has no intention of doing anything with these girls, I still feel a little sick to my stomach. I see the way they’re looking at him, they want him.
So I stand slightly behind him, waiting for them to finish so I don’t interrupt. Lucas on the other hand, has another idea. He sees me out the corner of his eye and wraps an arm around me, pulling me into his side and continuing on.
If looks could kill, I’d be dead right now.
I shrink into myself, trying to become as little as possible. This is embarrassing, I really don’t fit in with these people. All these girls are wearing tiny shorts and bra-tops, while I opted to dress in the same thing I always do…
Lucas notices my reaction and quickly ends the conversation, despite all the protest from the girls, he walks away with me and pulls me into the hallway. “What’s wrong baby” he says softly.
“Nothing” I rush out. “I think I’m going to go upstairs though.” I refuse to look him in the eyes, I know what he’s going to say, that he’ll come with me… but I don’t want him to stop having fun.
“Okay, let me tell the guys to keep an eye on things down here and then we’ll go.”
He tries to walk away but I grab him by the hand, “don’t.” I can tell he’s staring at me now, wondering what the hell as gotten into me.
His feet move closer, directly blocking my line of sight to the floor. His fingers come up to my chin and he tilts my head, forcing me to look at him, “whose ass do I gotta kick?”
Butterflies erupt in my stomach, his brown eyes burn with anger… he thinks someone hurt me. “No one, I just want to be alone” I mumble.
“You’re lying to me.”
“I’m not.”
“You are. Now tell me what’s wrong” he says sternly.
My heart beats harder in my chest, all the music is gone and the only thing I can hear is the blood pumping through my body. His hair, his body, all of him has me on edge right now, he’s so fucking protective.
What the hell did I do to deserve him?
“I just feel like I don’t belong here with you. You’re the life of the party, and I would rather sit in the corner and observe. I just don’t fit in with this kind of stuff, okay?” I want to fucking cry right now, I hate that I’m dragging him down.
Part of me expects him to flip and lose his mind, but instead he surprises me and wraps me into a tight hug. He rests his chin on the top of my head and breaths deeply, “you belong here because you’re one of us. People are going to be assholes no matter what, so fuck what they think.”
My throat gets scratchy as he speaks, and I choke down a sob that starts to crawl its way out.
“If you really aren’t comfortable then I’m coming with you, I’m not about to let you sit upstairs all by yourself while the rest of us have fun down here.” He pulls back and takes my face in the palms of his hands, “you matter Claire Taylor, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”
