“Okay, so there” I say, pointing up at the sky, “that’s the north star. If you follow this line here, it leads to the little dipper.” She follows my finger, watching as I draw out the constellation.
She looks up at me, watching my face while I continue to look up at the night sky, “where’d you learn about all this?”
“Blair’s dad taught me, I would go over a lot as a kid and we’d spend our nights learning about the worlds beyond ours.” I look down at her, staring into her eyes while she stares at me with wonder.
“You guys are really close, huh?”
“He’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember. He’s been with me through everything, he’s always had my back.”
She gives me that gorgeous smile, the dimple on her cheek coming out full force.Imanaged to make Claire Taylor —the queen of fake smiles and pretending— genuinely smile.
“Blaire’s family was always welcoming me into their home, they’d let me go over whenever things were bad, and gave me a place to stay when I didn’t want to be at home.”
“I know the feeling.” Her tone drops, instead of the happy, curious Claire that I’m used to… she sounds solemn and sad.
“I’m sorry, it sucks not having your parents be real parents. I at least had Blair, did you have anyone like him at home?”
She takes a piece of her hair and starts twirling it between her fingers, but her focus never leaves me. “Not really. I mean I have my brother, he was always there for me no matter what. He was the only person who took care of me no matter how bad things were. Tony was there too, he just wasn’t a person I could go over and see whenever I wanted.”
“What about your friends?” I prompt. I mean she had to have had some friends, right?
“None of them were super close to me. I kinda bounced between friends my whole life, sometimes I would distance myself on purpose out of fear, and other times they would say or do something that made me realize I didn’t want people like that in my life.”
“I’m sorry.” I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot recently.
“You shouldn’t be, I learned a lot from it all, and without them I wouldn’t be here with you right now. Besides, I have Steph, she’s more than made up for all the shitty friends I had growing up.”
She’s really opening up to me. This was supposed to be about proving that I can be in her life and not fuck it all up, but instead she’s proving to me that she’s more incredible than I ever thought.
I obviously don’t knowallthe details, but it sounds like growing up kinda sucked for her too, and I’m in awe at how she managed to come out of it as such a good person.
“Claire, you are amazing, I hope you never forget that. I’m trying to be better to you, because I want to prove that I’m worth your time and energy.” She bites her lip and looks up at me.
I don’t know what’s going through that head of hers, but I really wish I could read her mind right about now.
twenty-three
CLAIRE
I think I’m falling in love with Lucas St. James.
Holy… Fucking… Shit.
Nope, no. I amnotfalling in love with him. I can’t be falling in love with the guy who laughed in my face when I first met him. I can’t be falling in love with the guy who hated my guts a couple months ago. I can’t be falling in love with the guy who stopped a creep from grabbing me at the party, smiles when I make stupid jokes, and tries to prove to me that he’s worth being in my life. Nope.
Fuck. I totally am falling for him.
I get up from my position, needing to get out of his lap as quickly as I can.
He jumps back a little, “are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just cold” I rush out. “Can we go home?”
“Of course. Here, take my jacket and keys, I’ll meet you in the car.” He smiles at me while taking off his black coat, wrapping it around my shoulder and placing the keys in my hand.
I feel myself melt a little, and a millisecond later I’m scolding myself for it. He needs to stop doing what he’s doing, he needs to stop being so sweet because I can’t fall for him more than I already have. I just can’t.
I hop into the passenger side of the car and turn up the heat, sitting with nothing but the sound of the engine. His scent fills the air around me, and I pull his jacket closer to me.
