Despite what people may think about me, I’m still a kid at heart. Sure I’m opinionated and loud, but I care about my friends. I care about them more than anything, cause when things go to shit, they’re the ones who stick by your side.
Claire may be new but she’s made her place in this group. She belongs with us, she fits in perfectly, she doesn’t take us too seriously, and she’s always there for us.
“I know I haven’t been completely honest with you guys, but thank you for not getting upset about all the lies.” She pulls her eyes away from mine and stares down at her hands, “lying is safe, it’s a big bubble of security I can hide behind when things are tough… and as much as I hate it, it’s survival. It’s been the only thing I can control when everything else is spiralling.”
“I get it.” I mean it when I say that, I know what it feels like to have to lie to survive. You play nice in front of other people when in reality, you’redrowning.
“Can I be real with you for a second? I just know you won’t say some bullshit just to make me feel better.” She looks up at me with those bright blue eyes, and I nod my head. “I didn’t want to be a burden to you all, between my family, the anxiety, and the shit storm that seems to be my life… I was worried I would make your lives harder. I know you’re all focused on hockey, you have enough on your plates.”
“You’re one of us now, and trust me, once you’re seen as part of the group nothing can stop us from wanting to help.”
Her smile grows wide, and a small dimple pops out on her right cheek as she lunges towards me. Her arms wrap around me and I fall against her bed. “You, Lucas St. James, are a very sweet guy when you want to be.”
I stiffen before returning her hug, “if you ever tell anyone outside of this friend group, Iwillhurt you.”
twenty-two
LUCAS
I’m so fucking nervous right now.
I couldn’t sleep last night, so I spent hours planning this surprise for her. After she introduced us to her brother, I realized I need to do more.
I’m not one to go out and do this kind of thing for just anyone. Hell, I barely do anything for Blair and he’s my best fucking friend. Claire deserves the goddamn world, she’s amazingly smart and insanely funny —when she wants to be. I want to show her how much I appreciate her.
I hear the front door swing open and peek my head out of the kitchen, watching her walk into the house like all of our lives weren’t flipped upside down last night.
“Oh hey” she says.
“Hey, so I need you to go get changed into something comfortable” I tell her.
“Okay!” Her smile glows as we stare at one another, “give me like five minutes.”
* * *
“No peeking” I say to Claire as we walk down a path.
“Lucas I can’t peek, you have your hands over my eyes” she laughs.
Oh… right.
As we get closer and closer to the surprise, I getmore and morenervous. I put so much effort into this for her, I really hope she likes it.
I stop about five feet away from where I have everything set up, and slowly pull my hands away, telling her to open her eyes. I watch as her face morphs from shock to pure happiness while my heart pounds in my chest.
“Lucas… this is so fucking cute. You really did all this?” She turns to me, eyes sparkling with something I’ve never seen in her before.
I nod my head, I knew this was a good fucking idea.
She slowly walks over to the blanket I have set on the grass by the lake, the moonlight reflects off the water, making it look magical. The air is warm, but the breeze that drifts across our skin sends shivers down my spine. I have lanterns on all four corners of the blanket, just in case it gets too dark and we need a little light, but the glow of them makes this look like a dream.
Shelooks like a dream.
As crazy as it sounds, I like being around her. There’s something so comforting about Claire, something that makes me want to have her in my life forever. She’s quickly becoming a very close friend and I’m more than happy to let her into my life. It’s so natural to have her around now… I can barely remember what life was like before her.
I pull snacks out of a cooler I have off to the side while she sits down on the blanket, “hand me those twizzlers” she smiles.
Claire turns her body so she can lay her head on my lap, getting comfortable as we look up to the sky. The main reason why I wanted to come out here is because the sky is clear and you can see the stars. I want to show her the constellations and teach her about them, it’s something that means a lot to me and I want to prove to her that she can trust me, by giving her a secret of my own.
