“Funny” I say dryly, “he acted like he fully trusted you when we called that first day in the house.”
“Confession time?” He asks and I nod my head, “remember how I said I wanted you to move in so you could keep an eye on the guys?”
“Yeah…” where is he going with this?
“I actually did it foryoursake. The guys can be idiots, and assholes, and do the dumbest shit known to man, but they’re good people. You never wanted to leave your comfort zone, you stayed in your bubble and kept your head down. I was worried, I wanted you to go out and live life, I wanted you to have some fun for once.”
Do people really see me like that?
“So I threw you into a house of rowdy college boys in hopes that you would make some new friends and let loose a little.” He scratches the back of his head, waiting anxiously for my reaction.
That’s definitely not what I was expecting him to say, “alright, um okay.”
“I’m so proud to see how you’ve changed in the little time you’ve lived with them. I can see how close you’ve grown already and I’m just happy you have your spark back. The same spark I saw in that little girl fifteen years ago, when you ran up to me at six years old and yelled at me for hurting your brother's feelings after I benched him.”
I laugh, remembering that day perfectly. I was so angry, not cause Chris didn’t play, but because he was so upset after the game. I hadn’t understood that he had done something wrong, all I knew was he was sad and I wanted to help. I lean my head on Tony’s shoulder, “thank you for giving me the chance to live again. Thank you for giving me a group of people who make me want to live again.”
“I knew I made the right choice,” he laughs. “Can you tell your brother that after fifteen years of knowing you both, I deserve a little trust now and again.”
“I’ll be telling him a lot of things.”
* * *
The guys didn’t even need my help tonight, the other team was good but nowhere close to Livler kind of good.
Steph spent the whole game sending me texts, she sat right behind the bench and wanted to know what the guys were saying to one another. August kept looking back and smiling at her, I think he liked being able to see her during the game.
We came straight to the bar after, but the guys didn’t tell me it’s karaoke night. I refuse to get up on that little stage and sing in front of all these people.
The boys boo’d me.
Steph, however, has been waiting with excitement for her chance to go up there and rock everyone's world. When they finally call her name she goes up there and treats it like she’s at a stadium performing a concert.
I laugh and cheer her on, while August watches every little thing she does. He looks at her like she’s the only girl in the room, like she holds the secrets to life, like she’s oxygen and without her… he wouldn’t be able to breathe.
I want someone to look at me like that. I so desperately want to feel unconditional love like you read in books. I’m happy for them –I really am– but I can’t help feeling jealous.
Maybe I’m not built to be loved like that, maybe I was built to help others findtheirlove. I don’t want to believe that’s true, but I think I can accept that I’m the cupid behind other people's love stories.
She comes off the stage, flopping in her seat while August leans over and whispers something in her ear.
They’re just so perfect for one another.
Blair and Lucas get called up and my jaw drops. I had no idea they even signed up, but based on how aggressively Blair is dragging Lucas up there… I’d say Lucas isn’t all for it.
I pull out my phone, because whatever happens, I want proof of it.
Material Girl by Madonna comes on and I look at Steph, we stare at one another, not knowing what to say because so many things come to mind.
This has to be a mistake, right? There’s no wayNicholas BlairandLucas St. Jamesare about to sing a fucking Madonna song.
When Lucas starts to sing, I snap my head back to watch every moment. I’m permanently engraving this into my brain.
The chorus comes on, and Blair goes full pop-star. He’s singing his heart out, dancing around the stage, and trying to get Lucas to join in.
“Go Blair!” I scream over the music.
He sends me a wink and continues to sing like a complete diva. The entire thing is priceless, the contrast between Lucas hating his life and Blair living it up makes itsomuch better.
