Part of me wants to lie and tell her it’s nothing, that it was one time and she doesn’t have to worry about it anymore.
“Tony asked me–”
The loudest, rudest, most irritating laugh rips through the phone, causing me to flinch. My mother is laughing at me like I’m a fucking idiot.
I look up to Steph as she continues to watch me closely, worry and fear written across her face. We both see the guys exiting the rink at the same time, and she waves me over. We both know I don’t want to deal with all their questions, so we jump in the car and rip out of there.
“They must be really terrible if they’re asking you for help,” my mother says, “I never liked that man.”
I know you don’t mom, you make that very clear. She knows that he was a better parent than she ever was, and she hates him for it.
“Anyway, gotta go sweetheart, important people to see and talk to. Kisses.”
My hand collapses into my lap, I feel so fucking defeated every time I talk to her or my father. They’re just so draining, like they suck every ounce of happiness out of me any chance they get.
Steph knows better than to ask me a long list of questions, so instead she just looks at me and waits for me to share. “It’s fine, nothing new in the Taylor family.”
I can tell she wants to apologize to me, she wants to express how bad she feels that I’ve been dealt a shitty hand in life. It wasn't always like this though, my parents used to love me, they used to be supportive and kind and caring. They still are sometimes, I can still see my old parents in them… I just don’t know what I did to make them hate me so much.
“Can we just go back to my place, I need some time to myself” I mumble.
* * *
You know what fucking sucks? When your roommates throw a god damn party and don’t invite you. They invited half the fucking school over and didn’t even tell me, they didn’t invite me to a party in my own fucking house.
I’ve had a shit night, between that stupid phone-call with my mom and the texts from my dad about all these events I have to attend –and me fighting to not go– I want to crawl into a hole and die. Now add on the fact that I’m probably the only person on campus not attending this thing… I’m basically ready to explode.
When I say explode, I don’t mean I’m going to go down there and start screaming at people. No, I mean I’m going to sit in my room and cry my fucking eyes out because I’m so violently alone in this world that it hurts.
So that’s what I do, I sit and cry and wallow in my own self-pity until I literally can’t cry anymore.
Maybe I’m not actually upset about not being invited to a party, and maybe it’s just the final breaking point, and maybe I actually just want someone to keep me company instead of spending my Friday night completely alone like a loser.
It only takes one text and Steph is instantly face-timing me.
“Who am I murdering?” she asks.
I laugh softly, “no one. Can you come over though?”
She scrunches up her face, “what’s all that noise?”
“Party, the guys have a bunch of people over right now.” She hangs up the phone, leaving me in the darkness of my room, presumably already on her way here.
Those boys have no idea what’s coming their way, my best friend is pissed…
nine
LUCAS
Music bounces off the walls, people scream the lyrics of whatever popular party song is currently playing, and I’m having the best night ever.
A massive win for the Livler team, and an awesome party?
Life is good.
The guys sit around me, planted in various positions around the couch. Davis and Blair both have girls sitting on their laps, clearly enjoying whatever attention those girls are ready to give them, while I indulge in the cheapest tequila the local liquor store had to offer.
A couple girls have tried their luck with me, but no matter how interested I am in whatever they have to offer, I say no. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy the company of a girl when I know Claire is right next door, probably ready to bust in and cockblock me the first chance she gets.
