The whole thing left a bad taste in myself, for multiple reasons. The first being Nathan, obviously. The fact that he thought he could just show up out of nowhere and apologize like that would fix everything? Who the hell does he think he is? The second being what Lizzy said to me, her words play on repeat in my head while I question myself.
Loving Claire is the best feeling I’ve ever experienced, she’s perfect for me in every sense of the word… but what if she isn’t able to love me.
I’m a crazy, stupid, mess of a person.
But what if the thing that scares me isn’t leaving her behind for hockey… but leaving hockey behind for her.
It’s the first time I genuinely feel like I would drop my dreams and ambitions for someone. I would put everything I’ve ever hoped for aside and follow her to the ends of the earth.
Fuck.
Quiet footsteps walk through the hall, padding across the hardwood floor. The light steps come to a stop in front of my door, and they stay there for quite a long time. I have a sneaking suspicion I know who it is, and my heart starts beating harder in my chest.
Please come in, please.
She calms the storm inside of me, puts me at ease whenever she’s around. I could use that more than ever right now.
She finally makes up her mind and opens the door, closing it behind her before standing at the foot of my bed like a weirdo. I move my head slightly, trying to get a good look at her, and of course, she’s looking down at me with that god damn look in her eyes. The one that tells me she’s wondering if she’s doing the right thing.
“Can I help you?” I ask innocently.
“Shut up” she huffs before finally coming around to the side of the bed and climbing in. She folds the sheets back over top of her and settles on her side, chewing on the inside of her cheeks as she does so.
I don’t really know what to do right now, I don’t want to scare her off with my weird late-night thoughts, but I also know babying her isn’t going to get us anywhere.
“I’m cold” she whispers.
I turn over, moving my body against her and draping my arm over her side to give her the warmth she wants. I’d do anything to make her happy —no matter what it is— so cuddling her is the easiest decision I’ve ever had to make.
“Claire-“ I start to say.
“This is me giving you my heart again” she interrupts, “please be nice to it. It’s a little scuffed up.”
“I thought you already gave me your heart?”
She shoves me with her shoulder, “well this is me giving it to you for real this time.”
I cuddle further into her, holding her tight while she relaxes into me. I burry my face into the crook of her neck and inhale, she smells so fucking good. She fits perfectly into me, like I was built for her. Iambuilt for her. She’s mine and I’ll be damned if I fuck it up again.
“Mine” I mumble into her neck, “all fucking mine.”
“I love you Lucas St. James, you make my heart hurt so good.”
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
She said she fuckinglovesme.
I quickly sit up, Claire yelps as she stares at me with wide eyes, “what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Say it again.”
She looks at me questioningly, “What? That I love you?”
“Yes. That.” My stomach does a million flips and my body buzzes, adrenaline and happiness coursing through my veins while the prettiest girl in the world lays in my bed.
