“No,” she said, shaking her head as anxiety crashed over her like a wave. “Go without me.”
He sat at the foot of the bed, his brows knitting together. “Thought you loved Mickey.”
“I do.” Her voice wavered. “But I can’t go to Disneyland.”
“I’ll help you study when we get back.”
She shook her head more firmly. “It’s not that.”
His gaze softened. “What is it then?”
She sat in silence for a minute and debated whether to tell him. Normally she would have made up an excuse or lied her way out of it, but he deserved an honest answer.
She had to tell him.
“Disneyland is the last place I saw my mom.” She turned her wrist, running her fingers over the watch. “This was the last thing she ever bought me. I was eight. It was our first, ouronlytrip as a family. Three perfect days of rides, corn dogs, and walking around the park. I really thought we were bonding.“ She let out a breath. “The next morning my mom was gone. At first I panicked. You know, I thought something had happened to her. Then AJ told me he’d only bought two tickets home. Turns out the trip was just a send-off. One last good time before she left for good.”
She shook her head. “Looking back, that made it worse. Just when I thought we were happy, she walked out.”
“I’m sorry, darlin’.” Clayton hung his head. “Can’t imagine how that felt. I don’t understand how a parent can walk away like that.”
Jamie swallowed hard. “It kills me that your girls are experiencing this.” Her voice wavered as tears welled up. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.” She reached for a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. With a shaky breath she let out a soft, bittersweet laugh. “Not even you.”
He scooted up on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder as sobs wracked her body. He held her close, one hand cradling her head while she let it all out—twenty-two years of disappointment spilling over.
“It wasn’t until a few years ago I found out the truth,” she said, her voice shaking between sobs. “AJ finally told me why she left. She had postpartum depression after I was born and it turned into something chronic. She couldn’t cope with it and started using drugs.” Jamie swallowed hard and pulled away, leaning back against the headboard. “I wonder sometimes if Tammy went through something similar—not being able to look after the girls? Something mental?”
Clayton let out a slow breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, it’s entirely possible. I tried getting her help but she refused to see a doctor. And a therapist? No way in hell.”
She sniffed and wiped at her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to project my issues onto her. And I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.”
“Hey, now.” His voice was soft as he reached out, brushing a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I’m real glad you told me.” He hesitated, watching her carefully. “And I get it if you don’t want to go today. Butmaybe . . . maybe it’d do you some good to go with folks who’d never walk out on you.”
She blinked, not sure what to say. Their tour would be over soon, and after that she’d have to find somewhere to live—somewhere that wasn’t Nashville.
But he had a point. Maybe it was time to stop letting her past decide her future.
“Do the girls know they’re going to Disneyland?” she asked after a moment.
“Nope.” Clayton shook his head. “Wanted to surprise them.”
Jamie exhaled and nodded. “Okay. I’ll go. I don’t want to miss the look on their faces.”
The bus cruised south toward Anaheim, and the girls had no idea where they were going until they spotted the exit sign:disney way/anaheim blvd.
They screamed, bouncing on the couch, saying, “No way! No way! No way!”
“Actually,” Clayton said with a smirk, “Disney Way.”
Jamie rolled her eyes but the girls were too excited to notice his joke.
“Are we really going?” Emily asked, her voice full of hope.
“We really are,” Clayton confirmed. “Go on and get ready, now.”
The bus steered into a lot reserved for oversized vehicles, and Gus parked near Disney California Adventure Park, which was brand-new when Jamie had visited.
“Hopefully the lines won’t be too bad since it’s a Wednesday,” Jamie said.
