“Yes… I haven’t drank that much this morning…” Giving an almost pissed look at him. “Not because you keep reminding me how I shouldn’t…”
Duncan took a large swig of the Coke, and handed the bottle back to him. “I don’t want to tell you shit, ok? It’s your life, and your decisions.”
“But you resent it.” Spencer filled the bottle up with whiskey, sipping it.
Duncan sighed. “So what? I have my reasons, but this is you… what you do, and I don’t have the right to try and make you stop.”
“I could stop whenever I wanted.” It came out with a false conviction, his voice faltering at what he knew and didn’t want to face, at all.
“Good to hear.” Knowing they were both lying fucks.
Leaving the highway to take those mountain roads, those tall pine trees lining the road. Spencer’s eyes were lost to them, but also a small thrill in him, knowing they would be alone in that small haven. Something he had never done, this, being alone here with someone he was having sex with.Sex…Swallowing at his thoughts, that mess in his head, squeezing his lungs and his throat. Drinking to set fire to his blood and his brain, to wash some courage into his heart.
By the time they got there, he was mildly drunk, he knew, but he just caught Duncan’s arm when they got out.
“Go to the security cabinet and disable the cameras. Send a message to Martin that you’ll take care of us.” Catching that light of doubt in his eyes, he smiled. “You have to do it, unless you want them to watch as we fuck in the hot tub.”
Duncan’s face colored. “Uh… ok…”
He went and disabled the cameras, then messaged Martin. The reply came almost straight away.
-alright. Have fun with those assholes.
Duncan sighed, the nerves eating his stomach, because this was a place of beauty but he also remembered their last disastrous time here.
Spencer walked to him, holding two glasses. “Here. Lemonade for Righteous, and a whiskey for the idiot.” He toasted him, but Duncan caught his hand.
“You’re not an idiot.”
“Whatever you say.” Bitter, but he let his hand in Duncan’s.
“Care for a swim?”
“I’d rather rot with you in the hot tub.” Putting his drink down, he just stripped naked.
Duncan looked around, but Spencer caught his hand. “Strip because there’s nobody here but us, and I love being naked. Cameras are off, so fuck clothes.”
Duncan smiled and obeyed him, still feeling a bit off in his skin, but Spencer grabbed his hand and tugged him into that bubbling pool. He pushed Duncan to sit and straddled him, letting Duncan hold his ass as his hands went around his neck. Leaning down to kiss him, slow, lush strokes of their tongues until they just melted into that kiss, mouths wide. Deep, hard, drowning in each other, in that lush light, in that silence of the whispering trees. His tastes laced with whiskey, that fire on his tongue. Duncan just pulled him closer, gliding his hands up his back, their cock brushing in that warm water.
Their eyes meeting as Spencer broke the kiss to breathe, pushing his forehead against Duncan’s then. Trying to breathe when his lungs were squeezed tight, when his heart was threatening to break his ribs.Madness… it’s just sex… a good fuck…
Trying to talk those whirls in his chest off. “So I’m a decent fuck still? Despite being a useless loser…”
Duncan pushed at him softly to get his eyes. “You’re not a loser, but I’m not sure what can be done with your mountain of self-loathing. I’m not a shrink.”
Spencer pulled a face. “Shrinks… I had my fair share.”
Duncan stroked his back softly. “Sometimes, they can help.”
“You?” His eyes asking too with that small dread in them.
“Yes, me. It’s not a tale for now, ok? Not unless you want nightmares.”
Spencer glided his fingers on his cheeks, stroking softly. “Can they be fucked away? Nightmares… self-loathing?”
Duncan smiled. “Maybe…”
Spencer was lost in his grey eyes, under his touch.Fuck.Lacking any kind of strength to find that abyss of hate and build his walls back. “Maybe we could fuck it away then…” Pulling closer, grinding in his lap as he leant down for a kiss.
