Clavius mused. “I thought you were not into boys?”
Marius sighed. “So did I...”
There was an awkward silence, and Clavius softened a bit, seeing his friend’s pained face. “And your boy? What does he think of all this?”
Marius shrugged. “I don’t know... it is all too new for him...”
“I can imagine... be careful not to overwhelm him.”
He smiled, downing his glass. “I’ll try.”
Clavius rose. “Man, I’d never thought you’d take my advice so much at heart.”
Marius rose, clasping his arm. “Me neither...”
Clavius’ eyes shone. “Take care, Marius. Do not burn yourself.”
The younger man smiled, his eyes gleaming. “Thank you for worrying so much.”
“That’s what your best friend is for.”
He left then, knowing the way, and Marius went to his room. He had to wait until Kyle was done but had stripped already, waiting for him in bed, Clavius’ words in his head.Ah, fuck him!
Kyle arrived later and entered, softly closing the door. His heart was in his throat, still, but he walked to the bed, took his clothes off, and looked into Marius’ blue eyes. The moon was casting a gentle glow into the room, the terrace curtains wide open, letting in the warm summer night air. He stood next to the bed, waiting.
Marius spoke, his voice soft. “If you want, you can come to bed.”
Kyle’s face contorted in confusion.Want?Since when was this his choice... He waited, not knowing what to do, and dread crept into him like plague.
Marius propped himself on one elbow, looking into Kyle's eyes, seeing the fear there. “Alright, just come here...”
Kyle climbed up and lay next to him under the covers. Marius turned to him. “I wish I knew you really wanted to be here... with me...”
Kyle looked at him, his eyes wide. “You said I should sleep with you. I’m here, dominus.”
Marius smiled a sad smile. “I know... but do you really want to be here? If I told you that you could leave to your room, what would you do?”
Kyle licked his lips, his breathing faster. “Could? This is not my choice, dominus...”
Marius eyes’ blazed. “I am telling you now it’s your choice!”
Kyle shrank, scared to the bone by his brewing anger. He stammered. “I want to stay, dominus.”
Marius watched him, his voice a mere whisper. “You’re lying...”
Kyle blanched, his stomach knotting, utterly confused. He pleaded, close to tears. “Please, dominus, just tell me what you want.”
“I want you to be here because you want to, not because I want you to, but apparently, this is too difficult for you to answer.”
Kyle tried to understand, but he had no answer, his mind trying to adjust to this new situation.Did he want to be here? In bed with a man?These were not even questions he got asked before. It had become part of his life, part of who he was, and now, Marius was tearing wounds apart. His voice choked with tears, and he closed his eyes. He didn’t even care if he got beaten up... He had no answer for him because he had no answer for himself.
Marius watched him, pained, and sighed. “Go then. I don’t want you here if you don’t want to be with me...”
Kyle’s eyes flew open, wide, and he could not talk, the events of the past days flooring him, too much,and now this...He got up and backed from the bed, breathing hard, his tears flowing, blindly looking for the door but he could not reach it, when strong arms enveloped him, and he fought, panicked, forcing his constricted lungs to suck in air.
Somehow, Marius’ voice came through the haze in the dim room. “Shhh... Calm down... Calm down... it’s just me... gods... it’s going to be fine; I am sorry, I am so sorry...” He wrestled the slave’s arms down, locking them in his embrace, and Kyle sobbed, loud, giving up, leaning against Marius' warm chest.
Marius whispered in his ear, gently rocking him, cursing himself softly. He pulled Kyle up and brought him to bed, covering him, spooning him, holding him in his arms, making sure he could not bolt, and Kyle calmed down gradually, his breathing shallow.
