I nodded weakly, clutching my cast to my chest.
Fine.
Sure.
But inside, all I could think was how wrong that word sounded… because nothing about this felt fine.
—
Joshua
I didn’t even make it to the couch.
The door clicked shut behind me, and my knees gave out halfway down the hallway. I slid down the door, the weight of my body crashing to the floor. My head hit the hardwood behind me, but I barely felt it.
My chest was tight, too tight.
My hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
I hurt her.
Me.
The words just kept looping in my head like a curse I couldn’t undo.
I didn’t mean to. God,I didn’t mean to.
I just—
I was angry. At her? At myself? I don’t even know anymore.
All I wanted was her attention. Her eyes were on me. Her silence used to be torture, but lately it felt… safe. Familiar. It meant she was there.
That she hadn’t left yet.
And now?
Now I’d given her the perfect reason to leave.
To hate me.
Her face, her eyes when that ball hit, kept replaying behind my eyelids. The sound she made. The way she clutched her arm, trembling, crying, while I stood there like a fucking coward.
I didn’t move.
Didn’t help.
Didn’t protect her.
The one thing I swore I’d never do—hurt her—and I did it anyway.
And that wasn’t the part that killed me most. Because she was all I had left.
Not Alex. Not Jennie. Not the team.
Her.
Her silence, her small smiles, her stupid little drawings at the end of her notes, her voice she couldn’t give me, but I heard in my head anyway.
