To want to understand her.
And learning sign isn’t easy. I know firsthand because I had to learn American Sign Language when I moved. I couldn’t use British Sign to these people… no.
I decided to keep my head down and focus on my project. I was nearly done with it. Next week is my last week of shadowing, and I can finally—
The thought made me pause.
Can finally what? Leave? Go back to being invisible?
He’s bored with me now, isn’t he? That’s why he isn’t looking at me much; he didn’t even greet me with a nod towards the bleachers like always.
I let out a quiet exhale.
Good. Be bored, I don’t care.
Not at all.
—
Joshua
She wasn’t looking at me.
The entire damn time, nothing. Not even a glance. I’d been watching from the field between drills, waiting for it. Just one look. One second.
But she didn’t.
She sat there with Jennie and Alex, head low, hands moving as she signed something, the smallest twitch in her brow that told me I was invisible to her now.
Still mad, then.
My jaw clenched. Fine. Let her be mad. She’s the one who stared when she shouldn’t have. I told her to stop being naive, didn’t I? She should’ve listened.
But she didn’t have to ignore me.
I kicked the ball hard, just to release it, feeling that sharp hit of anger travel up my leg. The guys thought I was just warming up, but my eyes were on her. Always on her.
She didn’t even flinch when I looked her way.
Didn’t even see me.
God, it shouldn’t bother me this much. I shouldn’t care.
But I do.
Fine. She wants to act like I don’t exist?
I’ll make her look.
I set the ball down.
Aimed.
For the bleachers.
My hands were shaking, chest tight, heart pounding so fucking loud it drowned out everything else. I wasn’t thinking straight, just seeing red, just seeing her pretending I didn’t exist, laughing at something Alex said, not even glancing my way.
I took a deep breath, rolled my shoulders back, and kicked.
