I nodded once, too fast, and turned back to my seat. Relief loosened my chest as I sat down, and for the first time all morning, I didn’t feel like I was fighting to breathe.
Professor Smith was one of the best—if not the best—I’d ever had. She didn’t just teach, she saw. She noticed. She made psychology feel less like another battle I was destined to lose and more like something I could actually belong in.
After taking in the last folder, Professor Smith straightened and clapped her hands together, the sound sharp enough to grab everyone’s attention. She smiled, sliding her hands into her pockets as she leaned casually against the edge of her desk.
“This term, I want you all to work with people around you, outside this classroom and course.”
A chorus of groans rose up immediately. I didn’t make a sound, but inside, I was groaning too. My stomach sank. I already had a hard time communicating with classmates I saw every day… how was I supposed to work with strangers?
“Quiet down,” Professor Smith said, her voice firm but not unkind. The room fell silent. She pushed off the desk and began pacing slowly.
“There are twenty-six of you in here, so I’ve split this project into four separate sections. This will require you all to engage with people outside your comfort zone.”Meaning, this classroom.
My throat tightened.Perfect. Just perfect. Talking to strangers, opening my mouth where it always felt like the words got stuck halfway… this wasn’t a project. This was a nightmare.
“Seven of you will be in Social Psychology. Researching group dynamics, leadership, and teamwork.” Professor Smith glanced up from her notes.
“Seven will be doing Health Psychology. Stress management, coping strategies, and so on.”Oh. That one doesn’t sound too bad. Doable, maybe.
“Six will be doing Sports Psychology. You’ll look into how athletes perform, teamwork, leadership, and how they cope with stress or being under pressure. This requires shadowing the captain for the duration of the project.”
A ripple of excitement buzzed through a couple of students at that one. Not me. Just thinking about interviewing athletes made my skin crawl.
“And lastly, six will be doing Educational Psychology. You’ll be focusing on students’ motivation, learning styles, and classroom behaviours.”
She paused, scanning the room, letting the weight of the assignment sink in.
“And I will pick who gets what,” Professor Smith finished, her smile calm but unreadable. “Check your emails tonight, everyone.”
A low murmur rippled through the room; some students groaned, others were already whispering about the options. I stayed quiet, my stomach sinking.
Tonight. Which meant I’d be stuck thinking about it the entire day, wondering which group I’d fall into. Wondering who I’d be forced to work with.
Please, not Sports.
Chapter Two
Joshua
I’d learnt from people around me that I didn’t belong.
But where did Inotbelong?
I’d never tried to shove myself into other people’s orbit; I didn’t care enough to, so where the fuck did that ‘don’t belong’come from? I’d always minded my own business,almostalways. Correction.
But just because I shoved myself into hers doesn’t mean I care.
I don’t.
I just enjoyed watching her squirm beneath me. I liked the way she looked at me, as if no one in the world existed but me, as if she couldn’t have stronger feelings for anyone else but me.
Hatred, disgust, and maybe fear. I’d take whatever I could get if it meant I stayed in her eyeline, her mind, and even her nightmares. She couldn’t remove me from her life even if she tried. I lived there now and had been since our eyes met.
August 19th last year.
I pushed the entrance door open, walking out with Alex beside me. A person whom I actually consider a close friend, not that I have friends, only acquaintances. I don’t consider people I haven’t known for at least years my friends.
Alex, I’ve known since we were twelve. We met at the cemetery and, for some reason, stuck together. I guess it was the random trauma bonding we did; we even introduced our moms, but their graves were next to each other, so I’m sure they were friends.
